beast called this morning.  the boy is hooked. lmao  not that i take him for granted or i'm so conceited as to think i'm not but still... i find it amusing because he resisted so vehemently.  he gave in a hell of alot quicker than i thought he was going to tho! 

anyway after class last night we left together as usual...as we walked he was trying to say something but was having trouble getting it out...kind of mumbling & saying 'umm'.... i already knew what he was going to say & so i thought it was funny that he was having trouble with it.  

Beast --> 'i can't come home with you tonight...' ::sheepish look::

Me --> 'i kno'  

Beast --> 'how did u kno?'  

Me --> 'i just kno'  [gol]  'it's all good!'  (i said something else here but i can't remember what it was)

Beast -->  'so why am i [having so much trouble with it]?'  (or something like that)

Me--> 'i don't kno!' [gol] 

Beast --> 'I wanna spend the night with you'

Me --> 'just do what you were going to do originally because it should be that way'

he thought i said 'do what you'd normally do' and started to say 'it's not 'normally' just...' but i cut him off & told him that's not what i said & that i just meant if he had plans prior that he should keep them & not worry about me.  he was satisfied at that & just smiled at me.  we walked some more & talked about class & whatnot.  kissed goodbye at the train & i went on my way. 

i got home later than i thought i was going to & later than i'd wanted to but it wasn't so bad...just before midnight.  i'm definitely feeling the effects of my recent 'escapade' tho.  circa na....... interesting.  i really need to call him.... maybe i'll do it on lunch.....

oh!  that  reminds me!  i sent an IM to KRS1 the other night cuz he was the only person on & i needed someone to talk to really badly (altho i forget why).... he was about to go to bed so we didn't talk much but he gave me his number & said to call.  i'm kind of excited about that.... i really need to call him too!!  gol  maybe i'll do that from the bus tonight.... lots of catching up to do with him....

i'm starving!! 

i think i may have actually run out of things to write for today!  lmao 

random: i think a large part of the reason i write is because i want to remember....and tho i have a keen ability for re-living my memories, i can do so at a heightened level when i write things down just after they've occurred or asap.  i am really mad that i threw away some of my old diaries because of buppi.  not that he told me to; he didn't even know about them.  but i was weird about it.  i'm definitely growing more as a person in that regard.  i will no longer hide or omit anything for the sake of someone else.  ur either going to accept me for all of me or keep it movin.  i have nothing to hide & its better having things in the open anyway.  beast is the first truly open relationship i've ever had... if he were to ask me anything, i kno i'd tell him the truth.  and i know he doesn't hide or lie about anything to me either.  that part is also something that takes getting used to but it's getting easier. 

oooo i have to write about the 'peering over the shoulder'/'bubble' imagery..... and did i write about the cat sun sign book??  i don't think i did... that was saturday night.  crazy.  the 'by my side' & cat thing go hand in hand.... and the 'tucking in' & creating a bigger 'bubble' was what i felt as well.... why is it always on the train?  the only public place we've been together besides class (which doesn't count because i separate myself from him then)....i think i have more control over it than he does.  altho in the movies, the same thing that happens on the train remained.... it was as if no one else was there..... they were there in physical form & i could feel a faint energy but they weren't significant.  it was me & beast.  that's it.  pretty cool.... felt like we had the whole theatre to ourselves even tho it was almost completely full.  wow. 

lion-faced dragon..... hes not cold blooded tho is he?  i think i'm the cold blooded one haha  cat-faced dragon. lmao  he's hot like the sun & his touch warms me..... alho there were the few times he woke in a panic & called my name like a child calling for it's mother to help him, nurture him, warm him......maybe it's the 'internal fire' that keeps him so warm... why am i so cold then?  what's a cat's normal body temp?...... nope that doesn't work.... they're normal body temp is 100.5-102.5...... i'll have to do some more research....

everything seems to slow with him.....my energy quickens but everything around me slows.... i am more physically relaxed but more mentally stimulated....it's very interesting.   and i guess the same thing happens for him... he has said twice that when he's around me he feels strong & that i make him 'shine'..... he's convinced it's me.  gol