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i tried 3 times to write an entry yesterday but i guess thoughts.com just wasn't havin' it. oh well. it kinda pisses me off cuz i lost everything i wrote but whatever. it wasn't all that significant anyway.
i'm glad it's thursday. glad the holidays are over. glad i made the bus on time this morning. 
texted yummy this morning but haven't heard back yet.... i'm thinking maybe his phone got cut off again... or maybe he's just busy... i consider myself fortunate because i possess the forsight to kno that he will probably disappoint when it comes to making plans & can therefore properly prepare myself to safeguard against being sore about it but it still sux. i don't like having to wait & see if someone is going to come thru on their promises; i had enough of that in childhood.
and yet i still tolerate it. i suppose it's really not a big deal. i already kno that the potential for me to get hurt is far greater than the other way around. it's confusing tho... and u kno, i was thinking last night for some reason about buppi (of all people). i find it odd that i was so easily able to cut someone who literally was my world off completely in the blink of an eye & not miss them once. (altho i suppose the fact that i think about him at all could indicate 'missing' him in a way....i'm bound to have memories tho; we were together for 4 1/2 years!). i don't think i cried once after i ended it. maybe i just never stopped long enough to let it sink in.....that seems to be a talent of mine. can you say 'defense mechanism' boys & girls?
today is going quickly again (thank God!!) kinda sux tho cuz i've been here by myself since i got a call from Sam at 8am that she was going to be out sick. ::sigh:: I should probably get used to it anyway cuz she's outta here on 1/11. i heard a rumor that they hired someone already to take her place... i hope that's true!! i don't wanna be stuck doing this by myself for long!! essentially even having someone new is going to be rough --> 'blind leading the blind' oh well.
anyway it's 2:40 & i still haven't had lunch.... starting to get a bit of a headache... i don't want to spend any money but i do want salad... we'll see... i also have 'emergency' tomato soup in my drawer & i was thinking of jacking some pretzels from mike to put in it.... hmmmm....
jordan wants me to go to finn tonite... it's enticing no doubt but i really wanted to see yummy... i still haven't heard from him btw... that's kinda pissing me off too. as a failsafe (sp?) i brought my gym stuff anyway because i expected my plans with him to fall through & i've been looking forward to trudog's class all day.
finally ate my lunch at 4. wow. lucky for me topper hooked it up & came thru with a salad from downstairs. word. i hope tomorrow goes just as quickly with less bullcrap. why does everything always culminate during the last 2 hours of the day!?!? murphy's law. hahaha |
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Posted by foxx_flie on 2008-01-03 16:32:54 | Rating: | Views: 70
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I have lost several of my thoughts as well. I was told to write the post in word 1st
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Posted by trevorjohn
on 2008-01-05 19:56:19
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