until about an hour ago, i'd never heard of it.  now i'm intrigued & curious.... of course beast would be the one to introduce it to me. 

i've had a sort of epiphany.  my satisfaction alters between states because i understand that reality is not what people think they know it to be.  it angers me that people are so incredibly unaware & content to plod along in an existance that lacks any kind of useful application.  then again, is my life any different?  what am i doing to facilitate the progression i'm speaking of?  is there really anything to be done or does the mundane actually add something necessary?  the vision of the butter blocks on the conveyor belt comes to mind....but where did/does the belt lead?  what purpose did/do the blocks serve?

i don't think i'd try it.......not at my level of awareness....and especially not now -- beast said he did last saturday & 'hasn't been the same since'   knowing him, that's a good thing; knowing me, i'll be regretful.  altho i did recover from the incident with the 'daisy' & boomba @ the mirror couple's house..... didn't think i'd ever be the same after that but it really only took me about 2 weeks to return to 'normalcy'.  perhaps i've just become so accustomed to this state of being that i don't handle it well when i'm out of my comfort zone.  that would be the part of the 'former' me that still exists deep within.  the part that makes me oblige when i kno it will only result in more work later....lie when the truth begs to bubble over....smile & laugh when any number of negative emotions are lurking just beneath the surface.... i have done well in almost completely eradicating it but I am unsure if i will ever truly be successful.  remission remains a possiblity.

i have much more to write but i'm busy here today. 

quick:
got a call from the doctor about my bloodwork - my iron saturation is well below normal.  gotta start taking iron pills.  joy.  saw it coming tho.  hey, maybe at the least it'll help with this fatigue i've been battling for the past few months. i have an appointment to donate platelets today... i have to make sure i eat close to before i go.  spinach salad & italian wedding soup.  yum :o)

i feel like i'm in a dream today...i had off yesterday for my dr's appt etc & it made today feel like monday all over again....which is kind of a good thing cuz it'll make the rest of the week seem incredibly fast - and thats perfect cuz --->
HAWAII ON SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!