i hate it when i can't finish an entry.... i'm struggling to remember the details of the weekend & i had really wanted to get everything down......

ok.  so i left off with friday.... see that makes it even worse cuz it was a 3 day weekend!  gol  oh well.....

after we chilled & talked & snuggled a bit, i left to go get my stuff for class.  i caught the bus & was home for all of 45 min before i was out the door again.  in that 45 min, i decided i was definitely going to go out to LQ so i packed clothes to get changed into after my shower at the gym. 

class was really good & so i was kinda tired after but still wanted to go out.... i was excited.  my ankle was starting to hurt me a little tho & so when i finally got to the address i was given only to find out that it was actually another 10 blocks down, i almost had a fit.  either way i got there around 10pm & it was decently crowded...not too many people dancing but enough to make it comfortable to join without feeling like the whole club is watching u as they sip their drinks.  when i first got there, cbb said that papi had left & i was a little disappointed....i had a mini apple martini, hit the dancefloor for a song or 2 with cbb & then we went up to the bar.  as we headed back to the table, who comes around the corner but papi!  hahaha  he took me to the dance floor when the spanish music started & i almost fell in love.  lmao  i swear if there's one thing better than sex, its dancing.   yum!!!   the rest of the night was spent being pulled back & forth between dance partners.  my feet were starting to kill me because the night before (which i also forgot to write about) i had gone out with some of the people here at work & was standing for much longer than i should or would normally have in the shoes i had on. (so much so that i actually had to stop & buy flip flops before i could make my way to beast's apt that night)... at one point i was chillin with some people, sitting with my legs up on papi.... we sat for a while then danced some more & then he led me up to the 2nd level lounge area where we made out until there was almost no one left in the club.  (he had stolen a kiss earlier when we were at the original table but i shyed a bit because i didn't want there to be issues with cbb)

it was after 3am & i needed to get my butt home....he offered to walk with me to the train & we went to get our stuff.  i didn't kno what to do at that point about cbb...half of me wished i could sneak out & avoid the whole situation but the other half knew i at least had to say goodbye.  as i was standing with my stuff in my arms i heard him saying they needed to go back to the office... he didn't see papi & i think he thought i was letting him kno i wanted to leave by grabbing my jacket & whatnot.  then rob came up with his coat on & cbb's face was priceless....sad...but priceless.  he said 'i had no idea' 

HA!  he was the one that told ME papi was feelin me!  lmao  i guess he didn't think it was mutual.  he's funny this one.... really doesn't get it.  just because ur 'crazy' for me doesn't automatically make for reciprocation!!  lmao!!  dumbass.  i kno i sound really mean but if u met this guy u'd understand.... i'm trying really hard not to be really mean to him but he makes it so damn easy!  i'm so blunt with him it's borderline mean.  and that, for me, is a sure indication that i'm not feelin u.  unless it's the flirty kind of blunt but that's not the case here.... i'm just straight up honest no matter how brutal it might be.  and i don't find myself so much as wincing which is a little weird & out of character as well.... oh well.  he's a big boy.

moving on.  papi said he needed to stop at the office to grab his stuff on the way to the train.  he asked if i was hungry & we agreed on having cereal when we got upstairs.  gol  cute.  we chilled & talked a bit... kissed some more.... then took a cab to the train station.  i caught the 5:14 & took a cab from NB home.  I got in at 6:23am, ate 'dinner' & went to sleep for a whole 2 hours.  up at 9:40am & on my way out the door to teach class.  i had almost forgotten that i had a dentist appt as well so after class i went & got that out of the way (i love getting my teeth cleaned!! hahaha)... then i hit juice up so we could meet up for lunch.  after lunch i had enough time to sneak a workout in but i was positively exhausted & so i chose to sneak a nap in instead.  got up at 5:15 & headed back to work.  after work i went home, talked to papi on the phone for a bit & promptly crashed (which i already wrote about).  hahaha  so i guess i'm all caught up then!  

wait, no.  i didn't finish how sunday played out..... after daddy cancelled, i went back to sleep a few times, waking in between to go to the bathroom, get something to drink etc.... greg asked if i was going to my mother's & auntie kept pressing the issue.  i finally got kinda upset with her & was firm about it.  that was the end of the issue.  i had a ton of laundry to do, the gym was open till 7pm & i wanted to give myself a pedicure as well.  i set out to get a sandwich first cuz i was starving & then drove around trying to find an open laundromat (the dryer at home is broken) while i was out (yeah i kno i'm retarded for waiting till the last minute like that....& on a holiday that falls on a sunday no less...hahaha oh well)  i got back home & realized laundry was out of the question....as i sat & time ticked by, i realized the gym was not happening either.  but u kno what?  i need to keep maintaining some 'me' time on the regular cuz enough is enough.  

as i laid down again i got a text from JJ that was pretty funny about obama..... i replied & he said the sweetest thing

J --> 'you taught me not to be a racist nazi prick.  thanks!  and if you like a guy, no matter the skin color, i will like him too.  still seeing that boy?  are you home?'

i told him i was & he said to come outside so we could bullsh*t for a while.  at first i hesitated cuz beast had texted me & asked if i was coming to see him that night.  my initial response was that i was no longer going to my grandparents' house but that i still planned on going out there to see him, just wasn't sure what time.  i still had to shower & pack & whatnot & it was getting on in the evening... around 6pm i think.  but it was a really nice day out & i was just thinking about how i still don't see him as often as i should since he's across the street & all.... so i said eff it.  grabbed a clove, my jacket, keys & headed outside.  we sat in front of his dad's car & talked for a bit but it was getting kind of chilly so he suggested we go inside.  mama J came out & we all talked for a minute.  eventually stein came over....he needed a haircut so bad & didn't look nearly as cute as the last time i'd seen him but oh well... haha  we headed out to the porch room & put on a movie.  the 3 of us sat & bullsh*tted with wii for a minute & wound up watching xmen which was awesome.  haha  i was hungry again tho & suggested wawa....stein decided to head home since it was getting kinda late (around 11 i think) so me & JJ went.  when we got back we sat in the kitchen & talked a little more & i went home around midnight.  overall - one of the best easters ever!  ;o)

the best part is JJ can see!!  i never knew but it's so great!  i don't kno if he quite understands the magnitude of it but he definitely knows something is up.  stein probably thinks we're both crazy. hahaha  he stole a few kisses whenever JJ left the room... not gonna lie, they are nice....and he's got that jawline... it'd never go anywhere but whatever.  he's hitting the gym cuz they have one at his job & so i kno i'm only going to be more & more attracted to him as time goes on.  we actually talked about it tho & a physical thing would be fine by both of us.  lmao  we'll see if that ever goes anywhere.... either way i felt kinda bad cuz it was like me & (i can't remember the nickname i gave him....damnit!!  hmmmm.....how about cupid - cuz he was my first love)  ok so it was like back in the day when cupid would come over & we all knew what was up & what was going on.... u could feel the attraction between cupid & i a mile away....which made the tension when greg was around almost unbearable.......at the same time it was kind of exciting to have to hide it from everyone.  (or try to hide it hahaha)..... stein is DEFINITELY not as serious as cupid was to me but it's kind of a similar situation since JJ is like another brother to me.  i kno he knows stuff & there is definitely tension in the air at certain times when the 3 of us are chillin.  but JJ would never say anything... he just quietly leaves the room for a little bit & that's that. 

God now that i'm thinking about cupid.... i miss him soooooo much!!!  he came home on my birthday but left the next morning for jamaica.....i am starting to feel like i'll never see him again!!  :o(   i kno i will but it just sux right now.....  

anyway, its about that time!