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i am swamped at work. this usually isn't the case unless i'm backing up as well so it's strange & is taking some getting used to. i am taking a 'mental break' right now to try to clear my head a bit. with so much going on in my personal life, i am often preoccupied which doesn't help my focus for work purposes.
first of all, i haven't heard from yummy at all in the longest. i forgot to mention that he did text me a while ago... about a week or so i think. i spoke to him on the phone twice the same day & then he went MIA again. turns out that before that he had taken an impromptu trip to north carolina. weird. i just don't understand why he has disappeared again. i texted him once & called him once but neither received a response so i'm leaving it alone until he contacts me again. i have mixed feelings about this situation. first, of course is the hurt & anger. i'm hurt cuz i miss him & don't understand why he hasn't been in contact with me after we were talking on a daily basis for 3 months strong. i'm pissed because of the same reason.
then comes the rational side of me that reminds me to keep my emotions in check & just wait to find out what the deal is. after all, this was never an ideal situation to begin with. he's got a girl.......which of course leads me to the spiritual side that says i deserve for him to disappear for 2 reasons:
1) i kno that i shouldn't be messing with someone that's in a relationship
2) i have gone 'ghost' on people before & probably deserve for that to happen to me
but either way, it still sux. i kno eventually i'll get over it & forget about him but it's fresh so all the songs on my phone remind me of him & every time i go into the pics i have saved on there & see the ones i have of him it hits me as well... ::sigh:: love. who needs it?? the other thing i'm sure will happen (just like it did with juanito) is just when i get to the point where i don't think about him so much he'll pop up & text or call & it'll just make the cycle start all over again. that was an issue for me for a while with juan.... i must say tho, that has improved. the last time juan contacted me i got excited but it wasn't the same as it used to be. i'm not gonna lie, it made me want to go to florida bad but not to the point that i even researched flights, as opposed to back in the day when i went & booked one almost immediately. lmao that boy had me open!!
mental break over for now.... more later (hopefully) |
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Posted by foxx_flie on 2008-01-16 13:34:58 | Rating: | Views: 38
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