OMG!!!!!   got on the bus this morning & looked up after i sat down at the guy getting on....i recognized his face but i wasnt 100% sure where i knew him from... he looked up & made eye contact.  i saw the recognition hit his face as well.  for a moment he paused after he handed his ticket to the driver and he was going to dismiss it & pass by with a friendly nod.  then another pause. 

not sure if it was my own facial expression or 'pull' but he changed his mind & stopped at my seat.  we both said something to the effect of 'i kno u from somewhere...'  and it hit me...

panda's brother in law! 

he asked if he could sit next to me & i obliged.  we started to talk a little as we waited for the bus to finish loading.  he mentioned that he hasn't seen me in mad long & i started to explain how it has been difficult since buppi & i broke up.  not a split second passed from the moment his name escaped my lips and i looked up to make eye contact with none other but....

buppi!!! 

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!???  'steve 2' (s2 - panda's brother-in-law) looked up at the same time (not sure if this was out of human tendency or if he caught a glimpse of my face as i saw buppi) and his mouth nearly dropped to the floor.  we both had the same reaction.  buppi recognized & acknowledged S2 but not me & went back to his seat.

now, as if this were not strange enough, last night i signed onto myspace to find a comment waiting for me from buppi.  i was not expecting what i read at all.  i can't remember word-for-word right now (might post a copy of it later) 

it basically went on for a short paragraph saying things like 'i heard u were talking sh*t about me & u can't say it to my face...i thought we were friends...ur acting weird & like u don't even know me....u better watch ur back...ur a p*ssy a$$ b*tch' etc.... and then ended it with 'but it's ok because i just saved a whole bunch of money by switching my car insurance to geico! haaaahhhhahaa!'     

WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?

i responded with 'what the f*ck are u talking about???'   (partly a genuine reaction & partly because i wasn't sure if he was joking by the comment at the end - he has done stuff like that before...)

in retrospect, i should have treated it as i treated the situation with 'fulton' but i was completely caught off guard...tired...and LIVID at the moment.  i was ready to go off on him but was able to at least refrain from that.  i know better than to start coming out my mouth with all sorts of crazy things before i know the situation fully.  either way, i shouldn't have even posted that bullsh*t up in the first place but i wanted everyone to see how f*cking retarded & crazy he is (which was also going to be part of my response to him but didn't make it)...now that i've calmed down, i'm going to delete it when i sign on again. 

the more i think about it, the more angry i get with myself for not having listened to my inner 'buddha'.... i heard it loud and clear from the moment i read the last word of the message.  whatever, we're all human & we all make mistakes, right?  it's just frustrating to deal with stupid ish like that.  i have so many things bugging me about it.  if he's serious i'm wondering if he's referring to the fact that i didn't say more than 'hi' when i saw him a few times at the bus in so far as 'ur acting weird & like u don't even kno me'.... part of me is wondering if maybe G said something to him since i've been talking to her alot lately about relationships & have a tendency to draw on my experiences with him.  (i'm hoping that's not the case cuz it would pi$$ me off a little & cause me not to be so open with her about things concerning mutual relationships, but i could definitely see that being a possibility)  it won't pi$$ me off so much if she's honest about it...but i hope she didn't exaggerate....or intentionally try to cause drama (i don't think that's the case)

i have a feeling he's going to try to play it off like he was joking (like he's done in the past) but judging by his interaction (or lack thereof) with me this morning, i kno there was at least some element of truth in what was written.

ANYWAY!!  i don't kno why i'm even wasting my time thinking or writing about any of it!  other than the fact that it was kinda crazy to have that happen this morning, the rest of it is garbage & doesn't deserve to occupy any amount of space in my brain any longer.  now that i've gotten it out, i don't think it will.  i'm just curious to see what his reply will be (if any) or if anyone else will comment on what was posted. 

moving on.  i had crazy wild dreams last night.  one of which included buppi (understandably)...i kept calling for him.... none of the dreams are very clear...more like images flashing at this point.  i hate that.  still interesting tho.  i can't really remember the rest.  i had them earlier but didn't write them down so i fear they may be lost forever....::sigh:: another thing i hate.  oh well, hopefully they'll come back around at some point. 

i think one of them was about L...but i kno i've been having little dreams of her here & there along with tate for the past few weeks.  the same goes for uncle.  the most vivid dream i've had in a long time happened the last time i stayed at beast's house. 

i dreamt of cats.  lots of cats.  i don't kno quite how to put it into words but i can see the dream clearly in my head.  i don't kno if all the cats belonged to me or not & i don't kno who the other woman was in my dream because that is the one thing i can't see clearly but basically the woman was sitting & the cats were gathered around her (maybe mama j?)....i was petting the cats & looking at all of them & how they were different.  i think there was more to it but i can't remember.  there was one cat in particular that took a liking to me & i was petting that one the most.  it was black.

hmmm...what else?  i texted beast earlier:

me --> 'i feel like i haven't seen u in weeks gol'

beast --> 'yes i know how u feel, u should cum 2night!'

i told him i'd see about it.... fridays are hard to do that because i have my class to teach in the morning & it's not like i'd have my car to leave whenever i please from his place.... staying over on a friday night would entail asking auntie to pick me up from the bus on saturday morning which is not really something i want to do.  plus i don't kno what the schedule is like for weekends.... i suppose i could take the train but that's worse cuz she'd have to get me from NB... just seems like more of a hassle for me.  especially since we already made plans for saturday (& to be honest, for some reason, i don't really like to see him 2 days in a row....)

i'm anxious to get to class tonight.  i have alot to get out & i wanna see beast...he calms me.  altho i think E will most definitely be there & that will probably eff things up for me and/or him.... oh well.  there's always 2morrow. 

the plan is to teach class, workout, and, depending on what time i'm done with that, either go home & get showered/dressed or stay at the gym & get ready there...work the soccer league & then just change my shirt & leave straight from there so i can get to beast as early as possible.  maybe i can even get 'beach' to let me leave early again.... that'd be nice.

i kno there was more to write but i think i'm pretty spent for now...