hahaha thought that might be an appropriate title for at least one of my posts....shoot, should be the title of my blog! lmao

today's post is going to start with beast's reply to the email i sent to him & posted a few days ago even tho i haven't worked on my reply to him at all.... at this point i'm not sure if i'm even going to reply cuz i'm gonna see him in class tonight anyway.  ugh i'm just so completely turned off by him right now for so many reasons..... here's his response: 

YOUR RIGHT!!! WE HAVE NOT BEEN INTUNE SINCE MY KIDS HAVE BEEN HERE AND I HAVE CERTAINLY BEEN VOLITILE AND EXPLOSIVE 2 ALMOST ANY 1 THAT BEGINS 2 IRRITATE ME. THE REASON IS; IM NOT AT PEACE AND I NEED 2 CENTER MY ENERGIES AND FOCUS ON EVOLVING AND NOT SO MUCH INVOLVING. I AM TRYIN 2 HARD 2 INVOLVE THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT IN MY LIFE AND SHARE MY LIGHT N LOVE WITH THEM. THE CHALLENGE IS DOING SO 4 HUMANS THAT TAKE SO LONG 2 GET WUT YOU ARE GIVING, IS FRUSTRATING AND AGRIVATING SOME IF NOT MOST OF THE TIME. SO THE DARKNESS BECOMES PART OF THE PACKAGE AND WE DONT LIKE THE DARKNESS NOW DO W3.

I HAVE SERVED MY PERPOSE SO IF YOU STICK AROUND ITS ON YOUR OWN ACCORD. I WAS NEVER MENT 2 B A SUNNY DAY EVERY DAY 4 EVRY 1, IM AM DESIGHND 2 SHINE AND BURN HOT NO MATTER HOW YOU MIGHT FEEL ABOUT IT. SOME TIMES IM PLESANT AND WARM AND NURTURING, SOMETIMES IM NOT VISIBLE AND LEAVE YOU WITH A COLD FEELING, SOMTIMES IM BLAZING HOT N IF YOU DONT FIND SOME SHADE YOU WILL GET BURND!

I WILL HOLLA AT U LATA I CANT FINISH WUT I HAD 2 SAY CUZ I GOTA B SOME WHERE.

PEACE!

i obviously have tons to say about that (firstly, was all caps really necessary??  he's so arrogant that he has to type in all caps??  like every statement he makes is bold & important.  kiss my a$$ foreal!! or am i reading too much into that? haha)  but i have soooo much to do & no time right now which is really pi$$ing me off!!!  (and also the reason i haven't been able to write back to him altho i kinda feel like i should just leave it alone at this point & not respond.  i'm not sure.  i certainly don't want him thinking that he 'shut me up' in any way....then again, no response might also signal to him my disgust & or complete lack of concern furthermore with the situation....and then again, like i said, i'm gonna see him tonight anyway...we'll see i guess)

there actually was a short paragraph at the end that i omitted...i might add it back in but i haven't decided yet.  it's highly personal for both of us & i just don't kno if i want that to be all out in the open.... the reason i want to post it is because i have thoughts on why he even bothered mentioning it so it bugs me that its something i'm not sure about putting on here.  grrrr