beast responded to my text yesterday morning.  in response to '3 weeks?'  he explained what i already knew about his kids.  i'm not sure if he held out to see if he could get further reaction out of me or if his phone died or he just didn't see the text till the morning.  either way i told him i was glad his kids were coming cuz it's good for him & they make him happy.  then i told him that i was still disappointed & would miss him alot despite it.  he suggested coming over after class & i gave in immediately without a second thought.  (strange because i usually stop & think about all the different angles before i commit to something....especially staying out here on a weeknight...) 

i missed him more than i thought & i'm glad i went cuz it felt really good to be close to him.  plus we had another adventure.   hahaha  last night i said to him 'i like our adventures...'  he laughed.  this one was crazy tho.  he finally understands & believes.  that's what's up. 

it was definitely a crazy experience tho.....still can't believe it.  i was working at him & doing just fine when all of a sudden there was a whirlwind of thoughts that hit my brain...literally felt like a vortex.  and it wouldn't stop.... just kept spinning & flashing images in my mind's eye....bits of music, beast's face, places etc....i tried to keep my concentration but he stopped me & kinda laughed & i asked him what happened.  he said he got too deep in thought.  i said 'that was my fault....' thinking that the 'vortex' had affected him thru me as i gestured a swirling motion with my hand.... but he looked at me kinda funny & said...'well how do u kno...?'  i faltered, saying perhaps it was both of us & we affected eachother at the same time...but as i started to explain what my end of the occurrence had been, he slightly shook his head with a wide-eyed look of eagerness & disbelief as he asked me what images i saw.  as i listed what had been in my head he told me what he'd been thinking about.  unbelievably, it was the same thing!!!!!!!!  whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!  hahaha  i knew i'd read him more clearly sooner or later...i just didn't expect it to come through so intensely!  maybe it was a buildup or maybe it was because his thoughts involved me.  

either way it was pretty freaky.  i told him 'see?  i told u!'  he had had his doubts & i knew it....it bothered me & i think it built the block even bigger....and i told him he resists me as much as i resist him but that he won't admit it (which i stand by) -- but sometimes i wonder if it's just me.... either he really doesn't realize he does it or i'm being overly stubborn for the both of us.  if thats the case, my bad.  i kno i resist him & i'll admit it.  he knows it too.  i just feel like sometimes we butt heads like a couple of rams.  oh well haha  it's still fun no matter what.  i just want to have more adventures!  i was kind of starved for one... maybe that was another part of the issues i'd been wrestling with him were about.... in fact i kno it was.  i have a need to kno that i'm still 'alpha.'

before that whole episode, i sat in front of him & said 'why do u like me?'  he balked at the question & said 'what do u mean?'  and i said 'just answer the question....why do u like me?  ......   why do u keep me around?'  he repeated it out loud as he formulted an answer & i waited to hear it.  he said 'i like you for so many reasons, i don't have time to list them all....'  and then he said 'and i plan on keeping you around as long as i can.....'  he then basically indicated he'd take me where ever he went if i were down to go.  wow.  i'm getting goosebumps just thinking about last night in general..... the whole night was interesting....good.....really good. 

& i swear i was controlling his snoring for a second before i fell asleep too!!  i just remembered that!!  lmao  cool.  i'll have to try it out again some time & see if it works again.


i texted him earlier...

me --> 'i'm really glad i got 2 c u last night.  hope work is going well :)'

beast --> 'yes me 2 & i don't think i can wait 2 c u again so u will b seeing me b4 my kids leave!  ; * muah!'

me --> '::big smile:: hahaha ;o)'  

what he did besides make me smile was make me melt & get goosebumps. gol  in fact, last night i realized he makes me shake sometimes the way i did the first time i was with LPU.  interesting.... i was going to tell him but decided against it.  he already knows the profound effect he has on me.  

oh man & the whole 'mini me' comment....crazy... my mother looks like her too.... well when she was younger.  that's kinda nutso.  another thing i thought about telling him last night but decided not to.  i kept it for myself.  i didn't want her to get anything out of it.  she has robbed me of enough.

sometimes i get the urge to ask complete strangers for hugs.... lmao  it happened the other day at the gym & then this morning on the train.  the lady standing in front of me was soooo nice!  i could feel her energy before i even looked at her.  and so beautiful!!  :o) like the lady i saw when i was walking to boxing last friday....gorgeous!  

i am sooooo hungry.   i promised beast last night that i'd really get on my grind with training tho & that includes eating habits.  i am going to go back to journaling my food as i think that will be effective in helping me stay on track.  that & i have to make sure i go food shopping asap.  i'm also going to make sure i do at least something on tues & wed nights after bball.

i need something tho.... coffee?  i had some earlier this morning... wasn't very strong.... i don't know what i want for lunch...... all i've had so far is that breakfast bar....... i suppose i could have a little something to tide me over to lunch... it's 12pm.... i think i'll go at 1:30.... maybe 2 depending on when twitch goes.   

can't wait to go dancing again.... i think i might bring clothes to stay in the city again on friday.... and once basketball is over, i'm gonna check out LQ on a wed night.  

i guess for now that's it... i kno i have to finish yesterday's stuff cuz there was much more to be included & elaborated upon.... i'm afraid it will have to wait tho... i really have to get some stuff done before lunch.  booooo 

PS
that was another bit of convo i had with beast last night.... how the job doesn't challenge me & so i kind of just....what's the word....i don't kno....i'll think about it.  it's funny tho cuz i didn't think about the challenge thing until beast said it.  then of course he asked about when i'd be doing what i need to do to start teaching classes & whatnot.... i kno i kno..... saturday i'll sign up for the courses.