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Ugh, so i've been off my medication for a few things since, lets see 4 months? no has to be 5 months now!.. first type of medication was Prozac for my depression *only took it for 3 months* and i couldnt stand the fact of me being on 2 types of medz so i dumped Mr.Prozac! a week later i became i bit depressed and i was thinking of Ms.Perphenazine who helped me take over and conquer my problems with Hullucinating.. and i realized how well i was doing.. and so, without talking to my psychiatrist i dumped Ms.Perphenazine *which i wouldnt reccomend for anyone eles* cuz i realized how much i suffered after being off the medication i changed alot.. moods went all crazy and stuff. i became more"messed up" then i thoguht i was.. now im off them and people like ym councellor is trying to persuade me into taking them again. except im not too fond of that idea. i mean i stopped taking them for a reason. and as im writting im realizing that reason was pretty stupid... I just didnt want to be known as "the crazy quiet girl who takes medication to control herself" and yes, people actually referred to me as that. which did hurt.. after i was off them people realized i became more noticeablly depressed and more quieter and they made fun and said i was too emmbarressed to be on the medication i just quit.. now im known as "the quitter" and whatever.. so it sucks because each time i try to please people it never works.. so about a month ago or so. i talked to someone.. yeah, i talked to my mom (when she was around) and she helped me realize that i wasnt brought to life to please others,, && i was raised to know better then that. she did reccomend me to start taking the medication again.. but now that i have been off them i wanna take a different approach on my path to healing.. i wanna start writting more about my days and my feelings and thoughts.. try and find some clarity in my life. although im young.. i've been throught quite a bit.. maybe not as much as others.. but what i've been through brought me here, to where i am today. and i have faith in myself to recover. lol.. just not by taking medication =]
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I have to say I am reading your blog I am crying because I have my son around your age that I am unknowingly doing the same thing to my son and how he must endure the teasing in school, the trying to please every one and me and failing trying to fit in but never really fitting. He to doesn't want to take the medication we adults keep pushing on him me the doctor councilor his dad brother. I understand now, WOW it took a totally stranger a child to open my eyes. Even if his life suck balls it is better with out the medication at lease let him give it try it is his life not mine Thank VERY,VERY, VERY MUCH
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Posted by GaurdianofFallenA...
on 2008-07-10 09:24:25
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| Views: 20
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