I feel like such an utter waste of space.  I'm second guessing myself on everything.  I keep forgetting what I am doing.  Everything seems to be moving in slow motion around me.

Everyone expects me to be the person that can make everything better for them, the one that is always there...but what if I can't be there?  I need to make this go away quickly before it makes me go insane again.

There is that tightness in my chest again, that constant anxiety that people are looking at me, hating me.  I feel like I am carrying a massive weight on my shoulders and it actually aches.  It's like there is a fog constantly in front of me, I can't see anything clearly, my mind is cloudy, nothing seems quite real right now.

I feel sick.  The psychophysical side of it seems worse this time.

I have done all this fantastic work for marketing...now I am looking at it going "what a piece of shit."  So I have sent it off to other people to look at, I just can't be objective right now.

It's not even like I am tired.  I'm not.  Have had plenty of sleep,  I just feel crap.

All I wanted on the weekend was to curl up and spend some time with Tim - that always makes me feel better.  But apart from Friday night, he was working all weekend.

Ah fuck, I can't even be bothered trying to type how I feel at the moment.  I want to give up and go hide, but I know that I just can't do that.