| foreva_and_a_day's Blog Entries |
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For Feck Sake... Explicit Content
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Another shite combination...Mixed Episode (Combination mood) and a stomach flu.
It makes you even angrier than you are without the bug as well.
So I'm sitting here going:
XXXXX this XXXXX this
XXXXX this XXXXX this
I hate the world I hate the world I hate the...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-22 17:15:41
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 8 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
bipolar
tummy bug
mixed episode
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Anger and Hyperactivity Explicit Content
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Hypomania and anger are not good friends. An excess of restless energy combined with total fury and yourself for having this illness and anger at the world for not being able to make it go away.
It's
at times like this that I seriously consider just stopping my medication...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-21 17:09:01
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Views: 11 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
bipolar
hypomania
anger
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And Normality Reigned Supreme
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As I said...normality. A great big SIGH of relief.
My mood is back within a 'stable' range. I'm happy(ish) and actually able to get things done!!!
Uni started back this week, am doing two papers this semester, but it is ok cos I love every second of my...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-14 18:09:15
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 10 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
bipolar
normality
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I made it thru the wilderness...
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I've come out the other side of it all relatively unscathed.
Still incredibly exhausted from it all, still not a big fan of people in general. But alive.
It's nearly the end of the week...3:05pm and I finish work in 55 minutes. I then get to wait for an...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-10 23:07:30
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Views: 29 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
tired
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So Tired Explicit Content
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Exhausted.
Not sleeping well. Med dose increase making me woosy and kinda icky feeling.
Too tired for depression to make me wanna hurt. Have reached the point in my mood cycle wh
ere I just don't have any energy. I prefer it this way. At...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-08 16:52:01
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 31 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
tired
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It's been a hard days night Explicit Content
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I had a bad night. Really bad. One of the worst I have had in a couple of years.
I'm ashamed of myself. I gave in to the urge to hurt myself. And it did relieve the pressure inside
me for a while. Just to watch myself bleed made me realise that I am...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-07 16:54:42
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Views: 46 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
self harm
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Is it time to give up? Explicit Content
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I haven't had to fight the urge to die this hard for a very long time. I feel like I am losing control of myself completely and it scares the XXXXX out of me.
I really need to hurt myself, make myself
bleed. It feels like this is the only way I can release the...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-07-06 21:01:37
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 59 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
depression
bipolar
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FECK! Explicit Content
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Some fecking consistancy would be nice.
After yesterdays XXXXX up feelings, today I am jittery as hell, and kinda hypo.
thoughts racing, legs bouncing, restless, irritible, AWAKE (only had
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-05-19 20:08:07
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 38 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
manic
hypo
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Bitterness and Self-Loathing Explicit Content
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Is it ever ok to tell someone you hate them just because they aren't suffering?
Or to tell them to XXXXX off when they are being selfish?
Is it ok for them to make you feel like the bad guy for trying to loo
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-05-18 18:45:54
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 45 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
bitter
hurt
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Why can't I make it stop?
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I woke up this morning and my pillow was wet with tears. I had been crying in my sleep again and I don't know why.
I drove to work in a daze, snapping at anyone that so much as said a word to me, trying not to cry, trying to pretend that everything was ok.
I'm...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-05-07 19:40:47
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 52 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
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It hurts Explicit Content
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The despair in my mind is so strong it is a physical ache. I cried myself to sleep last night. I felt so alone, there was noone there, everyone was busy and all I wanted was to be near someone, to be told tha
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-04-23 17:33:19
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 127 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
dream
anger
pain
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Why me? Explicit Content
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I feel so despondant. I went to my psychiatrist yesterday. he increased my medication again and broke the new, once again, that there is the possiblity I will never find a medication that will stabilise my mo
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-04-22 17:02:08
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Views: 72 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
desolation
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What a waste Explicit Content
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I feel like such an utter waste of space. I'm second guessing myself on everything. I keep forgetting what I am doing. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion around me.
Everyone exp
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-04-20 17:55:04
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Views: 64 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
depression
bipolar
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-04-17 21:35:49
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 51 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
poem
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It's been some time... Explicit Content
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...since I wrote on my blog. I guess I have been far too busy for it...and I was actually feeling pretty normal for a while there. But things change.
I'm slowly heading back down a slippery slo
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-04-17 21:12:13
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 52 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
low
depression
moods
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12 more days at this craphole
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Morning!!!
Only 12 working days left at this craphole of a job. I start my new job up at the university on 31 March and I can't bloody wait!!! They have already said that they will let me study internally, which means I can throw out my extramural stuff and get on with REALLY...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-03-10 14:56:35
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 32 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
elevated mood
gym
new job
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Ummm... Explicit Content
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Oops, I have been neglecting my blog a wee bit of late. Simply haven't had the time to get on the computer and write anything. Have been keeping myself very busy cos I have a major excess of energy at the mom
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-03-06 15:41:35
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 46 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
bipolar
medication
hyper.
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tired
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So tired. So so tired. Good old medications. I can't believe how tired this stuff is making me.
I am off work for the next week, so hopefully I can use that time to stop being tired and make my moods slightly better.
I don't have a lot to say...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-02-23 20:33:39
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Views: 38 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
tired
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oh dear...
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When your employer is seriously considering (to the point of just wiating to make sure it is within company policy) putting you on paid special leave, you know you are not good...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-02-20 21:32:36
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 46 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
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internal spontaneous combustion.
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Do you ever feel like the thoughts and words stuck inside you are suffocating you? Like if you don't get it out of you, you will explode at the wrong time in the wrong place? Do you ever dream of what it would like to be happy and realise that it is getting harder and harder to...
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Posted by:
foreva_and_a_day on 2008-02-20 17:33:39
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 55 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
bipolar
depression
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