I went back and looked at some of my entries and noticed alot of mistakes. Iam up to my old tricks completly out of control. Bought a pint of skols vodka and wasted 3 dollars on lotto scratch offs.I would think everyone thinks they deserve to hit it big.I didn,t have to do overtime last night but I believe  tonight I do. As the night goeson I go thru many mood changes,the one that sticks the most is being depressed .Who can define depressed though.Unhappy? Whatever.I wonder if you out on the streets,are you happy.I always thought if the poop really hit the fan I could at least take my military retirement and live on that untile it sucked away in cyber space.

Well I called up and after I leave here I have to go to the dreaded overtime.Which will mess up my free time. Of course the playing nice lasts so long as she calls up and screams into the ph wheres my badge,and says her famous cuss word "you mother F****"so much for playing nice .However Iam at my witts end.It would only take a little bit to make me come unglued.

I say alot and never mean it. I worry about the financial reprocussions. However in the esteem words of my stepson,you keep coming back. So much for whinning it makes me think stop being a chicken shit .I do not want to agonize about this. She throws me into a tail spin each and every time.My job automatically gets put on the line so I say fuck it.Here Iam venting away and she is in her what ever mode in contol of everything.So Now I feel foolish for Iam trying to vent this away,as I take the wrath for something I was never to blame for.After all if your in the normal frame of mind,you don,t go around raging at someone for mistakes they didn,t make.

No matter Iam tired. Iam calling off tommorow if she rages at me