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nothing going on

another day in paradise as the saying goes. I will work this evening tonight,tomorrow and then catch a plane to Stockholm and tell the world to kiss my ass(the part about Stockholm is made up) you knew that .I got some camel sinus(brand) free mum stick in between upper lip and gum.You notice its there the urge to smoke goes away.
Iam of course zoned out. work work work.My destiny ,there is so much out there. Its sad as I cling to the present,would praying help,or continue to go off on my fantasies which of course are dying out.Well Iam at another computer,so I had better leave for now.Tonight when I go in I will log on again.Iam so tired I think I will do the job and take a nap,iam not sure being stoked up on caffeine.One thing for sure cut out caffeine and energy drinks.

If I do anything and I hope to accomplish something I should work on my resume.and work on her job list. I really want to do right by her.It takes it toll on you,as Aim not doing for myself. For instance its how I got fired from the last job,actually voluntarily resigned. I just sit in the corner and Aim gone(la la land)

I did that a couple of days ago and thankfully the same thing did,t happened(getting fired) If Iam really down and out Iam going to tuck the cell ph behind my neck where it will be against the car seat and my neck. (just remember to do it)why the cell ph (alarm)

I go downtown to my main place of employment. Its here I have a problem.Mostly go nuts drinking the different kinds of tea. Here I fall victim to the free tea and coffee.Iam not very well grounded(mature ,focased) Its like a little kids thinking.Actually I don,t think its even that ,it has its own definition or weirdness. again Iam thinking get off this computer and use the one at work

What a total fucking disaster .I looked in the payroll book and completly fucked it up.The PFB changed it all for me but its been a problem with me before.So I don,t know I really don,t .I had a complete mental meltdown while working after seeing the payrol book so to speak,took alot of risks,just to vindicate my stupid ass mistakes. My mind and body in the gutter of hell.Iam wondering where the on your knees praying to God is really useful.

On top of that I have to go to another site to work. So I feel like I have been injected with some drug,that numbs your feelings.Its where you breath,eat,sleep or whatever but any simlance of self or personnality is evaporated or whatever.

Iam disgusted with myself,now I feel like shit.no matter its like going to court. The judge throws the book at you or you get off. Go with an open mind,

Update fucked up payroll: met the pfb coming in and said what a dumb fuck Iam (didn,t say dumb fuck) you get the point,and that it doesn,t take a rocket scientist to fill out a payroll. The PFB is cool about it. Iam thinking better not do it again.You know how it is ,shit can hit you between the eyes before you know it your fucked.If that happend I would have to deal with my wife who is So so understanding uhuh would go for the jugular.Well got my vodka bottle in he car and some cheap ass cigarettes .Um before I forget I had better sign off.Since the pfb is here,he just won,t be back for 30 minutes