Thoughts.com Blogs - not getting throught it

I think it comes knocking at your head. get out!!!.She stays at the casino me I wallow in self pity.I cause myself sleep deprivation. Stay up untile 2am ,in la la land. Then go to overtime,then work then overtime,then the field supervisor comes ,"we are short here" I go to this site ,Iam short with this guy,Iam sure this will get back to the office"bad atitude"
I have a compulsion to clean the carpet,(should I be getting my shit together) finished the carpet 113pm(1313) go to work time 315pm .The sup is training some chick. I have some choose words here **##$% .Iam not going to be early for this chick,the sups pet pupil.

Ummp things not normally the way they should be. She gets another letter in the mail from unemployment. The problem is,transfer agression. If there is such a term.

So ! what to do plod on like a good soldier

Got up and shampoed the carpet.Aagin left the frigging ice cream in the refridgerator,for her to discover.

Hopfully maby I will do somethig tonight besides crying in my beer. I have got to point where work doesn,t matter anymore. I feel so disillusioned,like Iam floating around,like my head is floating around without a body

well onward more cleaning.

Work: here we go 8 hr and I,ll be home.Iam not saying hoppfully she won,t be there Its lost all reasoning,so if she is there Iam going to delay telling her about the unemployment.

Umm well here Iam laying all this crap down again.

Iam thinking its not going to be the same????? yea right a good line out of a movie "one thing we do know" her reaction will be the same.Vindicative anger.So ! Iam mean she missing a blanket,so the big guns come out.Now that Iam all fired up I can think about blowing a whole lot of chances to at least do something. Maby there is a chance I hope Iam not blowing smoke out of my ass.At least have my ducks in a row and a big bottle of VODKA yippe yippe Fuck

Any amount of posting is not going to erase problems so I think I will take care of some problems or tasks.

or erase this whole frigging post and get on with my life My problems

However Its hard to face the truith the latest

ok too many things on the fire,unemployment problems,her lack of understanding about mytotal feeling of helplessness. just accept things as they are, going on overtime,ignoring the shit in my life.