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Iam overtaken by depression and the urge to act out. I cann,t seem to reach a point where I can get some release. I have other worries on my mind.The dam frigging cigarettes,and the congestion they cause. Fantasies race thru my mind,worry about things ,the marriage,she loading crap on my shoulders,her frigging compulsions blowing money on 8 liners(illegal) My feeling on leaving,{ the 40 millioneth time mentioning that} blah blah well ain,t gona go away.Should go and satisfy a compulsion and get it done with,Iam thinking a stupid idea.
She calls up reminding me about a bussiness name ,I don,t even know what shes talking about . I really need to get high, fortunatly I don,t have any drugs[trouble] maby take a whole bunch of motrin. [medicine cabinet] took the motrin,only 4 200 mg each. Went on a check of the building,odd the motrin hasn,t kicked in but started to feel calm.
Iam using this entry to stay away form my responsibilites.I should be looking at jobs for her,the ibuprofen (is that motrin?) will make me tired,so Iam brewing some coffee in one of the break rooms.
So really do need to get down to it.
Well my worrism task is almost done (cann,t tell you )
Anyway I come to work and get on the internet because its there. I post on thoughts and the rest of the night thats all I do.
I watched some of the tv shows on the respective network web sites. It gets old nothing to watch,all reruns.
So I have worn myself out smoked two cigarettes,sort of a trigger to act out [lets just leave it at "act out" ] thus far nothing. However eating has soothed the savage beast.The motrin taken earlier must be taking effect now Iam worn out.
One more entry on a job form a few more patrols and then put some coffee in some drinking bottles and get ready to go home 1150pm
Go home and stuff what emotions and freedom in my body and kiss ass [not literally] actually may have to massage that part of her body,no its not sensous,sort of like a non emotional thing.
What ever happend to wet dreams
Be nice to have one that would solve things.
Be my luck I would be right in the middle of it and she would wake me up.
She is a drone the highlight of my day is taking a bath and she walks in.
I have to laugh what if she grabs my ass,hasn,t happend .
Ok onward to the job log back later to close this out
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Posted by flipmaster on 2008-01-20 17:03:08 | Rating: | Views: 52
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