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Tough Day I Had Today - Many Hearts Were Hurt

Actually something happened today where I found out the deciding factor. Apparently Ian said he loved me for the wrong reasons. I couldn't believe that coming from him. I am still afraid that I am going to loose his friendship. He is my oldest friend that I still have good contact with and still talk to. I realized today that sometimes guys really are not as telling as girls. I came out to him about Brandon as quickly as I could and also I came out to him telling him that I liked him (Ian) a lot as well and that it was not something I could control and I didn't want it that way.
I knew the one that would fight for me, at that time, would be the one that I would be better off with. I now realize Ian may have fought for me more at that moment of the scare of loosing me but I think Brandon has fought for me much longer, before and after.
I never wanted to like two guys at once but I had. I seem to always have to make huge decisions like this and I guess its just something I am going to have to get used to.
I now know that I too had kinda liked Ian for some of the wrong reason but not completely. Yes I did also like him for him and not only 'him'. But I believe I like Brandon so much more for him on the inside which is what really matters.