| View Blog
|
| Why do we do whatever it is we do?
|
|
|
So I sit here wondering why people do the things they do.
Why do so many girls (including myself) crave attention?
Why do guys act the way they do when attention is given
to them? Back when I was in high school, and right after
I graduated, I craved all the male attention I could get.
I would go to a party, have a few drinks, and sleep with
whoever was willing. I wouldn't hear from them again, and
would get so depressed that I would go out looking for the
attention all over again... a never ending vicious cycle. Many
names on my "slut" list later, this little game was still going.
I met a guy, and one month later (still dating him for a change)
found out that I was having his baby. 3 years on and off with
him, and a couple other guys added to my list, he goes to jail.
So yesterday, I meet a guy, knowing full well his intentions.
He gave the whole "I'm not ready to settle down" speech,
and I make little sexual comments, and invite him over.
He showed up tonight with the can of whipped cream and
became my human sundae. I can't say I didn't enjoy looking,
licking, and touching his hot ass body, but I know that I will
not be seeing him again. I thought to myself, why is someone
that good looking here with someone like me?
Is it that way of thinking that keeps them from returning?
Is it because my confidence level is to the ground? I showed
higher confidence now than before, and I am working on it,
but is that the reason I am always the "one night stand" girl?
Don't get me wrong, I am not sad in the least bit that this
particular guy doesn't want more, because I knew that from
the get go. But why don't guys look at me and think "I want
to see her every day"? Or "I want her to be MINE and not
anyone elses"? What makes me the one they look at as
"She'd be a good fuck" or "She might just suck my cock" and
then afterwards be like "Well that was fun, take care"?
I am not skinny, but they don't seem to care about that when
they are shooting their load. They don't seem to mind how I
look when they want me to touch, lick, suck etc. What about
me screams "There's a ho lookin' for action!" How do men's
minds work?
Why do I lower myself to being that "slut"? Why don't I
demend respect? Its like I'm saying "Whip it out baby, then go home"and thats not truly what I want. I want someone who is
going to look into my eyes and think "this girl is wonderful, and
if I can't see her again, there is no point in ever living. Okay, so
that's being a little dramatic, but still. I want someone who is
going to want to call me again. Someone who is going to want
to go to dinner, or the movies, or chill out at the park with me
while my son plays.
I love me some sexin' sometimes too, and sometimes its okay
to have a good romp and a goodbye hug, and send him on his
way. But ultimately I start feeling worse about myself and start
feeling like a cheap hooker. So can you tell me, why do I do
what it is that I do? Because I have NOOO Idea....
|
|
Posted by finding_me_again on 2008-07-25 01:42:37 | Rating: | Views: 74
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
I had a friend who liked a man's attention too, but the men she would get were alot older and a lot of the times the men she met online. We were in college when she would tell me about these men she met online. She would feel heavenly when they would come see her, but then feel crappy when she wouldn't hear from them. She didn't have a dad growing up and I lost contact with my father around 12 years old. I'm still trying to reconnect with him-he's an recovering alcoholic.
Sometimes it just has to do with what our daddy didn't give us. Men are pretty simple minded, very black and white, women-we're a different species.
We need affection and have that expressed to us on so many different levels. Now there is a way to get a man and have him respect you and love you like you want. It sounds to me your afraid of losing the attention of the guy and then resort to talking sexy on the phone or acting slutty. You've got your sex skills down now which will come in handy once you've found the right man, but you've got to build up the relationship first. Eyes can tell a thousand words-so try flirting with your eyes only. Then start a conversation and always be in a public setting. Talking with a guy, you'll find out if he has a job, has a crazy ex', has lots of kids in tow, is plain crazy, or uses drugs/alcohol, has transportation..all those things are important to know if you are to build a relationship. Try building your self confidence also b/c men can tell when a girl feels down on themselves and they'll say anthing to make you feel good and then they think they've earned your affection! Whatever, your a super woman, you've got your kid and are raising him/her. Right? Well, work on restraining your sexual urges with a potential prospect and he may be curious enough to stick around and if not-oh well, you didn't need him! With a child you don't want someone who's going to be coming back and forth in front of your kid. So once you've got the relationship down, to give physical love, should be the ultimate gift of yourself, not the first present.
Have faith that the right guy will come when you start acting right.
|
|
Posted by mariposa30
on 2008-07-25 17:05:14
|
|
|
|
I've been in your place. I'll be just someone to have sex with, no strings attatched. But when the right guy comes along, he wont want you to be that way. He WILL want you to be all his. He WILL look into your eyes, tell you your beautiful and that you mean the world to him. You set your standards. If you set them low, like they seem to be, you'll have sex with them, they'll leave, and if they want it again they know who to go to because you'll give it to them. You want quick fixes on feeling cared for. Instead of giving into guys that don't give a shit about who you are or being with you after that night, let them know that if that's all their lookin for to keep walkin cuz your not into that anymore. You get what you want, you have to know how to get it. If a guy sees you giving yourself away to him so easily, why would he want to be with you? You need to let him know that your not like that. It's a turnoff to guys and they think they can't trust you if you give in so easily. They want to chase. We want to be chased. I hope this helped, tryin to be real about it. I'm not tryin to hurt your feelings. I do feel for you and know where your coming from, so just know that I'm here for you and I wish you luck with all of this. You will get through it and you will find that person your looking for!
Much Love
Jen
|
|
Posted by JenLyn
on 2008-07-28 22:36:43
|
|
|
|
|
u just haven't found what you're looking for.. that's why you keep on searching for that thing.. that thing we usually call love =)
|
|
Posted by chic_nouveau
on 2008-07-29 04:12:30
|
|
|
|
It sounds like you don't value yourself. If it's sex you want then it is what it is but if your looking for a relationship your going to have to think more about yourself and respect yourself or no one else will!
Also when you've got around if your town is like this one word gets out and it may be why guys know your a one night stand??
Obviously your size doesn't matter. Different guys like different sizes. If your comfortabe with your size then you'll find someone else that is as well. You just have to decide what you want and be true to yourself as dumb as that may sound.
We all crave attention. It's just a matter of what kind of attention your willing to settle for.
|
|
Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-08-06 22:34:48
|
|
|
|
|
|
