I truly loved you, and believed that you were made of good. I never knew that I'd be sitting on the floor, with your arm around my neck, watching my little boy sleep out of the corner of my eye, and believing that I was about to die. We had our differences, but that didn't change that I felt for you like I had for no other. We didn't always get along, but that didn't warrent you tackling me to the ground, kicking me in the head, slamming me into walls, and strangling me. I may not have been perfect, and may not have been a great girlfriend, but did I deserve the fear, and abuse you instilled in me? Today marks the one year anniversary of your mom's death, and I haven't been able to get you off my mind. You don't know what I've been going through since you got arrested. You put me under so much stress. You left, and I was left standing to pick up the pieces. Your son asks me daily where you are. How do I explain it to a 2 year old? You were the one that hurt me, and yet it feels like you're sitting in a cell not having to deal with anything, and I am being punished. I have to find a way to support our son, I have to explain to him every day that you can't be here, I have to deal with his behavioral issues because of you not being here. I found out the day after your preliminary court hearing that I was pregnant with your second child. I didn't know how to react. How are you supposed to feel when you find out that you got pregnant when your boyfriend forced himself on you, and that he's in jail for hurting you? I found out 3 days later that I lost the baby. I bawled worse than ever. I blame you for the stress you put me through. I love you for giving me the best gift ever, our son, but I hate you for hurting me, and for putting me through what you put me through. You may have forced me to have sex with you, but that baby would have been a beautiful gift, just as our son is. I cannot forget, and I cannot forgive you. I will be happy if and when you get sentenced to prison.
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