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so i am ok but not. im unmotivated and in pain. i just cant figure me out. i went out last night because thats what i do when im sad and i have been sad this week im strugglin with money for rent im strugglin to be happy im strugglin with myself i feel alone and not good enough. i feel lonely and sad. i guess i dont know what else to do so i drink. I wet out last night and had an ok time. I didnt get smashed i was good i had 4 beers around 530 and then at 11 had 3 more i met these guys from the military and was hanging out and by the end of the night i went to a guys room and chilled out he wanted o have sex and i said no so i started to leave and he said dont go its ok i shouldnt drive well i layed back down and he got all crazy tellin me i was a tease and hes not 15 get out it was super weird he said i was pretty but not that pretty and so forth whatever i left. it made me sad tho. sad that i dont think about things beter. sad that i cant figure out why i feel like i have to do what i do. so im just sad depressed i guess. i look in the mirror and want to cry because i see me and i see that i am not happy and i see that i just want to love me but i dont and i dont know what to do or where to start to help me. i feel like i have goten beter normally i would have drank way too much and slept with the guy, but i didnt this time but i dont feel good still. i guess its progress but i really want to be happy i want to be motivated and strong enough not to drink at all and i want to be happy. i really want to figure out why i feel sad why i am the way i am what is inside me that causes all my pain.
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Posted by figuremeout on 2007-10-19 20:23:44 | Rating: | Views: 63
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I'll tell you what's missing -- It's spelled G-O-D. Have you tried him yet??
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Posted by AloneSoonYay
on 2007-10-19 21:04:36
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stop the behavior and find you. and maybe alonesoonyay is right. im not big into praying but i know when i need god in my life.
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Posted by MissShnn6
on 2007-10-29 20:29:39
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