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I've just been reading a blog about cheating and why people do it. I know a lot of people say that there is no justification for cheating but I beg to differ, sometimes there is. And before you guys get excited about this comment let me explain.
In any romantic relationship, physical intimacy is important. As human beings (being animals by the way) we need to be touched. The same way they encourage you to massage and cuddle a baby is the same way adults need affection. That is why you feel so good when you have a massage, it is the power of touch, it is basic need. So how is this relevant to the topic? I'll explain.
When you have a partner that no longer talks to you, no longer compliments or notices you you immediately start to feel rejected. It usually doesn't happen overnight and is caused by underlying misunderstandings but when you come to a point where you and your partner no longer kiss, cuddle or even brush against eachother, know that you are in treacherous waters. I'm not saying that all people in this situation will cheat, I just mean that you are officially in that situation where one of you may be tempted to cheat. I'm sure you will agree that a lot of "cheaters" do it for sexual gratification, some do it for the attention that they don't get at home, some are just looking for a friend; but all are cheating.
So despite the fact that there is no 'justification' for cheating, I can say for certain that by not being intimate with your partner, you are causing them to long for it and this may lead to them finding solace in another. This is because as human beings we need to be intimate, and the need is greater for those who have become accustomed to it. And remember that just because you no longer find your spouse attractive doesn't mean that other people do not find him/her attractive. And some people are bold enough to approach a married person.
But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should cheat simply because you find yourself in a situation where you can, try and solve the problem that is causing the wedge between you. Come back to that place where you can hug and hold hands again. Don't be the cause of the pain that will undoubtedly find its way to your home after one of you has cheated.
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Posted by ffeeona on 2008-05-28 06:25:06 | Rating: | Views: 241
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You are probably right about everything you have written. The only problem is someone always gets hurt when cheating starts in a relationship.
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Posted by Faith
on 2008-05-29 15:18:36
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yes thats the sad bit, everyone gets hurt in the end, children included.
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Posted by ffeeona
on 2008-05-30 02:16:11
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question- If you don't want to even touch each other why are you with this person? I guess after a while the spark does fade away...I assume here we're talking about marriage, because simply dating does not involve children. But i think married or not, if there is no children...don't waste your time being with someone just because ur comfortable about them..go find someone you can't live without.
When there are kids involved its alot harder. Because no matter how unhappy you are in your life you have to force a smile on your face to keep your children happy. im not married, not even close and i dont have a child. i just KNOW. im only 20 by the way..but yeah i dont think you should stay in a relationship if your not happy, and not fake happy...happy as in you cannot see your self without this person in your life.. but anyway, thats my input...
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Posted by EatThoseWords
on 2008-06-01 10:14:49
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i agree with you completely. the point i was making is that sometimes people underestimate the importance of giving your spouse attention and of being intimate with your partner. it mainly applies to married people. and i'm not condoning cheating, i'm offering possible explanations
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Posted by ffeeona
on 2008-06-02 02:20:10
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Very good posting. I agree with a lot of what you are saying, however many women who cheat do so because the emotional part is not being met. When I was married, I coud have easily cheated, as my ex-husband added nothing to our partnership and left me to manage the kids and house alone after work everyday. I commuicated with him exactly what I needed and he would not change. I think for woman sex is a chore if your other needs are not being met.
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Posted by singleat41
on 2008-06-30 17:04:30
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yes singleat41 that is true. truth is relationships are difficult whichever way you look at it.
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Posted by ffeeona
on 2008-07-01 02:22:58
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