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So i was ranting and raving about divorce blah blah blah.. enough of that.
I have a more exciting dilemma now, no more tears. There's a guy I have known for the past 20 years perhaps (well i only stated to speak with him as an adult about four years ago) He's a nice guy and I love being with him, he makes me feel like nothing I say is too much, I can be myself when I am with him, weak; mean; confused and all. He is everything I would want in a man, except that he is a bit low in the bank (actually very low). I know that he cannot provide for my son and me materially but he is the first person I want to talk to when I am sad, happy, confused, bored or anything for that matter. He brings sanity to my life plus he is willing to listen to all my sob stories and has seen me looking my worst. I know he would be a caring husband.
But how do I overcome the lack of $? I'm self sufficient but I also want to be spoilt and to go on expensive holidays..with him. But I am not prepared to foot the bill for him because I strongly believe that men should always provide. I don't want to set a bad precedent that its ok for him not to have his stuff together. But I know he is a good man, i doubt I could find someone that compatible with me. What to do???????
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Posted by ffeeona on 2008-04-07 06:41:36 | Rating: | Views: 60
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Money isn't everything. If you really feel this strongly for him, you will wait til he is sorted out financially. I am sure he will appreciate all the advice you are going to give to him.
I know you need someone to support you and your son, but if you're already self sufficient, money really shouldn't be an issue. When me and my boyfriend first got together, he treated me like a princess, buying me flowers, taking me out, and now we live together, I don't want him to do that anymore. It's nice, and if he surprised me with it, I'd love him all the more, but what I most enjoy is his company, I know he'll be there no matter what and I don't need him to spoil me. Life is too short. As long as I'm with him, I don't need materialistic things.
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Posted by southernsun
on 2008-04-08 07:16:27
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I see what you mean. I guess I'm just worried that I'll end up being the breadwinner should we get married. I really love him and he has been very patient with me and puts up with all my b**s**. Sometimes I think I'm afraid to love him you know, I got divorced two years ago and I'm so afraid to commit to someone. I know its stupid because he is a totally different person but I don't want to be hurt, and its easy to find fault in the relationship so that I have a good reason not to take it seriously.
I know he's struggling financially (he too got divorced a year ago and his wife took everything) and sometimes I just feel like giving him or loaning him money but I know he'd feel pretty bad if I did that, and another part of me is not really sure I'd be comfortable doing that. I come from a very traditional society where men are expected to provide. My ex was reasonably well off and we had just about everything but he is the coldest man I have ever known. But my boyfriend (is that what he is?) is attentive, loving, patient and really wants to get married and have a baby, and I want that too but I'm nervous about his financial situation. But I also feel bad for making such a big deal out of it, he tries so hard to show me that its not important.
We can spend a whole day together talking and doind simple things and I feel so good being with him. I wouldn't mind spending all my time with him, he holds my hand, rubs my feet and listens to my problems, joys and anxieties. All this has made me realise just how much he means to me. Thank you.
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Posted by ffeeona
on 2008-04-09 03:21:01
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