'Hve you ever been in love? I feel like I've been in love more times than I should. I guess that means that it wasn't real love then, or does it? Its always the same thing with me, I fall deeply in love (whatever that means) we start a wonderful relationship and about three months later the guy irritates the shit out of me and I'm fighting hard to stay interested. Why is that?

I've been thinking about the guys that I have dated and have come to realise that the last time I actually dated someone who I was completely satisfied with was when I was in college- in first year to be exact. After that I dated for the fun of it and I usually dated people who were somewhat below my expectations. I guess I felt very secure dating them, it was some kind of narcissistic set up, they felt like they weren't good enough so they did what they could to keep me. But I always felt bored with them in the end; I longed to be with someone who was an equal, someone who could challenge me intellectually. To me, the measure of a man is someone who has the ability to lead, someone who can take charge of situations, someone more intelligent than me. Thats not tsay he should always lead, but have the ability should the need arise. I know it sounds old fashioned and rigid but thats what I like, we all have our own preferences.