Then he went up on a mountain where He could be alone and pray.
Later that evening, He was still there. Matthew 14:23
_death is a universal fear, i must say. i haven't had one conversation about it that he is not afraid of it. death has something scary in it though it is uncertain. death is like a black cloth waving through the darkness. it makes us imagine frightening "stuffs" and it gives us goosebumps! amidst the facts the Bible has provided us and some manuscripts has about death, it still scares a lot of us. i do not like to think death myself. but i love pondering and wandering through the thoughts of being alive after death.
_aside from fright, death also brings pain. i can't forget how my uncle cried when we lost my aunt, my mom's father when we lost my grandma and dad's mother when we lost my grandpa. i say "lost" for they stays only in our memories and was removed from our reality. they can't cuddle me anymore. they can scold me. they can't touch me. and it saddens me a lot seeing them crying in pain, longing and despair. i am until now is avoiding to think how would i react if i lost a very significant love one. i can't still imagine losing one.
_Jesus heard of John, the Baptist's death in the first verses of Matthew 14. John is a dear friend. i believe Jesus was also saddened by the report and He grived for the loss. though in pain, He did not failed to do God's plan for Him. He even managed to fed the five thousand men. women and children were not mention making it triple the number. but after His task, He sent all away even His dear disciples and spent time grieving with God.
_being in pain is so normal. and wanting to be "alone" is as much normal. i said being "alone" because when we mean "leave me alone." it is silently said this say, "leave me alone with my God." would you agree? when alone, to whom do you talk to? to whom do you confide? to whom do you pour your hearts? one universal answer is, with God. it is because our hearts know how God cares for us and is so willing to sit and embrace our crying face and comfort our grieving hearts.
_yes, even Jesus was hurt by death. He confide and run to God. lossing someone is so normal as sin had caused us physical and spiritual death. but sin cannot remove us from Gos not even a minute or single second. you are not the first one to feel that kind of and intenseful pain. turn to Him who knows, understands and can comfort all your pain.