The shadow was unleashed last night on my date.
The shadow is my drunken alterego. Its when i become a shadow of my former, sober self.

So I went on the date with my supervisor. It was suprisingly relaxed and fun.
He looked quite nice also, he made an effort which was sweet.
I got way way way too drunk. I had a talk with the shadow earlier in the evening, I would not let it out.
I would not drink too much. But it did not end up that way. I can't really remember being in the last
bar. This is not acceptable behavior for a woman my age. And frankly, not at all.
I didnt drink beacuse i was nervous or bored or uncomfortable. I was really relaxed and it was interesting, witty conversation. Up to the point where I got shit-faced, the best date ive ever had.
UNTIL....

I thought it would be a good idea if i went back to his house! I suggested it.
I woke up this morning, thinking, ' mmm...its saturday, im in my bed, plenty of space to spread out and sleep'.
At this point I had not opened my eyes, and i stretched out my foot, when it came it came into contact with another foot, which did not belong to me. I opened my eyes, and i was not in my own bed, i was naked and I was NOT ALONE.
I am such a hussy, and the worst part is, quite clearly we had sex, (evidence of condom wrapper on the bed-side and being naked) i can not recall one moment of it. In all the people I have slept with and all the bad things that has happened under control of the shadow, ive never not recalled having intercourse with someone!
The worst part is, and this part makes me want to die... a coleage who lives with the date, and I met on the landing when I was going to use the loo. I greeted him with a friendly 'good morning'. I was not greeted with such a warm reception! When I asked him if he was ok, he replied ' Yes, but I slept on the sofa last night, so I didnt get that much sleep'.
So I asked him why and he said '...well I didn't want to sleep in my room, beacuse there was too much...er....noise going on.'
How humiliating is that? Never in all my life!

I cant believe I slept with him on the first date!