I've been with my ex for only a year and half.  Short as it was, we rushed into it so fast that it seemed like 5 years.  We met a my job.  I was a cashier at a store right across the street from his job.  He was a regular, and I thought it was so cute how he would always come to my register when the 4 other registers were wide open.  He finally asked for my number a couple months later, and we hit it off great.  After a month into it, I moved into his place and we were just inseperable.  I would call in sick just to be with him and he did the same.  After just three months, we decided to get our own place (I couldn't stand his roomates). 

     The first 2 months were awesome.  He'd give me his pay to the cent for the rent, bills and groceries and everything.  One day though, he got fired for excessively comming to work late.  We were both devastated.  At that time, I was going to school part time and working full time.  I eventually had to drop out of school and work overtime.  I didn't mind supporting him for the first 3 months since his termination, but after that I was just annoyed.  I started to bitch at him everyday for not getting a job, for going out with his friends, for staying home and not cleaning, etc.  I felt I had the right to get pissed off because I was pulling off 70 hours a week to support us, and there he is doing nothing but cruising with his boys.  One night, we got super drunk, and I said something stupid and he stormed out.  He came back the next morning, drunk, and high.  He started to pack up his stuff and called me horrible names.  I started to cry because I was just confused.  He then tried to choke me and he literally kicked my butt when I bent over to pick up something.  He was a totally different person...i saw it in his eyes. 

     That was the first break up we had.  I felt really bad for him because he had nowhere to go.  He eventually moved in with his grandma and he finally got a job, so I thought I'd give him another chance.  He moved back in with me, and everything was great again...for only a few weeks.  He quit the job he just found, and started to "work" for his friend.  His friend just opened up an office to start a clothing line.  My ex is a great artist and has a degree in Computer Science, so he was "hired" to be in charge of the graphic designs.  Notice how "work" and "hired" is in quotation? it's because his friend didn't pay him.  He kept telling me he'll get paid when the company starts to grow.  Here is where it started to get ugly.

   This office he "worked" at was not very professional at all.  They would have parties in the office nightly...girls, booze, drugs, loud music, and everything in between.  It was not a place where any girlfriend want their boyfriends to be "working" at.  He spent all day there, and eventually all fucken night.  I was just annoyed.


     During these trying times, stress got the best of me.  it's been 6 months since he hasn't been contributing with the rent nor bills.  I'd come home and see him only to accuse him of cheating on me, not loving me, bitch at him for not helping me out financially, not doing anything but going to the office.  He'd tell me everything he did at the office though, but it would irritate me even more because he had nothing to show for it (money wise).  One night though, I was suprised when he pulled out his wallet to pay for my drinks.  It was so suprising that I asked him, where he got it.  After a brief argument, he gave it to me.  Ever since then, I couldn't help but to think that he was getting paid and he was hiding the money from me.

     I noticed that he started to drink a lot more than usual in the office.  I'd ask him where'd he get it and he'd said from his friends.  I got even more annoyed cuz I hardly have any time to even meet up with my friends.  I now work 76 hours a week, with only one day off, which isn't like a day off cuz I'm off running errands, cleaning my house, washing my clothes and buying groceries.  I was fucken FURIOUS.

     Just last month was when it got uglier.  When I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.  It started with not answering my calls, to not comming home at night.  I was soo fucken pissed off and hurt.   I couldn't stand it but yet,  I loved him soo much.  I let him get away with it until one day he did it again after swearing he wouldn't.  I checked his voicemail, and it was his friend, the owner of the company screaming: "YOU MOTHERFUCKER, I HEARD YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING MY CHICK YOU FUCKER".  I couldn't believe it.  I confronted him, he naturally denied it, didin't come home for 2 more nights and came home to grab his stuff which I've already packed up and left outside.  He gave me a half assed sorry and left.  
 
     I knew he was cheating from the first time he didn't come home.  It's not like him to do that.  Ever since he started working at this "office" he became different and so distant.  While I was packing his stuff, I smelt his shirts and it smelt like perfume.  I'm so angry at myself for letting him do this to me.  Everyone told me to break up with him when we first broke up.  They would ask me why a 20 year old girl is supporting a 31 year old man to begin with.  Which my only answer was because I love him.  I'm 20, and I'm supposed to be going to school and having fun with my friends, but there I was supporting him who was 31 fucken years old without a job.  
 
    It's only been a few days since the break up, and I already feel a lot better without him.  I'm laughing a lot more, getting more sleep, I have more money, and best of all, I'm not stressing out as much.  

     I still do love him, care about him, and everything.  I miss him so fucken much.  He is a great person, nice, loveable, sexy, cute, kind, funny, smart, unique, and supportive.  He wasn't supportive financially, but he supported me to not give up on my dreams in becoming an embalmer, and here I am embalming and directing funerals.  If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be who I am today.