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Truth LIES Reality...

Just once.
.
.
.
I begged you... to just let me in.
I know you so well.
Unconditionally giving and loving...
Through that concrete cell your
heart lives in.
But now... I am hurting
You know I know it...
Confirmation came to me from the source.
Leaving a taste that was both cold and bitter.
Yes... I now know.
Yet you still want me to stay...
To keep me here in this limbo.
Feeding my hopes just enough to hold me here...
Me, wishfully thinking.
But not enough to make the next move.
Physically, we are together.
But emotionally, I am all alone.
Living in this shell, that looks pretty from the outside.
One that others might even mistakenly envy.
If they didn't look inside.
Gazing at our facade.
Oh so pretty...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You have lied to me again.
You won't admit it.

But we both know what happened.
And I am not talking about a small little lie...
This is another one of those larger than life ones.
The kind hat takes the air out of my sails.
That includes another...
It has ripped me down to the ground again.
Naked and exposed to a truth about lies.
But I knew it would. Didn't I..?.
I knew this could happen.
Why can't I make you see?
Why is my love never enough?
I am here trying to be what you need.
Running my heart into the mud again.

Giving you all that I can.
Almost too much.
I feel so weak now.
Weak and weary.
I am the visionary.
The one that sees into... and past the...
and I do...
But it doesnt stop my heart from staying.
It doesn't stop me from loving you.
Even thoughI know the outcome.
I keep holding out for a miracle.
HOPING
Hope for change within this little circle that I call ours.
Trying to be...
Never quite making it...
Oh now what to do...
When all the walls fall down.
I can't even confront you.
I haven't the strength.
I am so tired of the fight.
Just blowing along with your fierce winds.
Storming
me
up
.
.
.

Where ever I may land...
Seeing it yet, nothing to do about.
Only the pain.
The ill gut wrenching ache that I can't rid myself of.
It wont let me sleep now.
I hear the logical rebuttals.
There are so many that roll around and bounce about...
I deserve better.
.
.
We deserve better.
.
.
You deserve better.
Hmm...
God I am hurting and still!
Why do you hold me?
What is this game we play...
I pick up your crumbs...
Embracing them as if they were the most soulful songs of love.
But they are only crumbs... in reality.
You see, I know...
I do know... but it doesn't make it any easier.
Still riding this damn scratched record.
Our record.
Living this exciting winding whirl...
Spinning storm-a-coaster!!
That isn't so exciting nor exotic anymore.
Just sharp pain that is leaving me with marks across my heart.
Looking for that new sun.
GLOWING
.
.
.

Trying to move my legs!!
Trying not to turn my back.
Trying not to toss my head and turn again back at you...
Frozen and knowing...what a leapard really is...
False hopes are what I own.
Everything else dissolves with my tears...
Like a waisted alka seltzer!
Plop!! ...left without fizz...
I feel you
still stand there.
I am slowly giving up on this false dream that all can change.
Or maybe it is more about the reality that I am seeing.
The reality ABOUT ME being enough.

I
AM
enough
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
for me.

.
.
.
.
IN Truth
LIES reality...

Scarlet
written by: G. K. C. (c) ~ all rights reserved

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com
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Posted by Evanescence on 2009-09-28 17:00:15 | Rating:

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Blog Comments

you must not let your heart bleed love....a very wise girl recently told me that....*wink*

Posted by monicaspeaks on 2009-09-28 17:09:59

Awe Monica... So very true. XO

Posted by Evanescence on 2009-09-29 01:36:05

So very perfect. Thanks for that. Wish you well.

Posted by vestigesofhermind on 2009-09-28 17:37:23

Thank you and here is wishing you well too. Xx

Posted by Evanescence on 2009-09-29 01:40:17

whether truth or fantasy.. the pain became real.. hurting hurts...

Posted by pastormike on 2009-09-28 21:17:04

Great observation PM.. and it certainly does. Xo

Posted by Evanescence on 2009-09-29 01:42:26

Once again...my tale you tell...and made it much more beautiful than it was but captured every ounce of hurt. I know you probably won't...but u know where to find me if you should need me.

Posted by brokenprincess on 2009-09-28 22:38:59

Wow... And yes i would liketo talk soon. The flu is almost over btw... ;-) love ya! Good thing i was prepared with meds... (((hugs)))

Posted by Evanescence on 2009-09-29 01:45:47

WHAT!?!??!? You did actually get sick!?!?!?!?!?!?! *passes out*

Posted by brokenprincess on 2009-09-29 19:40:54

I loved this! so much so that I just had to read it twice. I wish I could write as good as you do. My book would be a top ten. I have not had more than three people in one day to go to my book site to read it. and yet I sit here in awe of your words wishing I was in your class of writting.

Posted by BostonBill on 2009-09-29 10:09:55

I miss you hunny, where are you...Oceans cant keep me at bay forever, Beautiful post I keep reading yet....You seem lost.((Hugs))

Posted by Crimson_Read on 2009-09-29 18:22:39

Miss you. :(
Hope you feel better soon.
funnyman

Posted by funnyman57 on 2009-09-30 00:06:40

The agony of a heart that seeks love eventually becomes bitter without the love it needs. Then the walls of bitterness are erected and loneliness becomes a prisoner, and then the hearts fate is sealed :(

Posted by bigd49 on 2009-09-30 00:13:35

You are my new best friend. Let's hug.

((((HUGS))))

Posted by trodd on 2009-10-01 10:21:23

I can relate. This is beautifully written blog about something so sad

Posted by Night_Dreamer on 2009-10-02 02:02:20

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