I am really upset, and I'm about to go on a rant. So Sunday, my crazy mother calls me. We're talking and laughing, then I decide it's time I ask her the "question" that I've been waiting to ask her since I found out I was spending Christmas with her. "Are you going to drink when we go to Annie's?" That was it. Everything blew up.
     I guess I need to clarify a few things before I go on with the story. My Annie is really my mom's cousin, and instead of calling her Kim or auntie or whatever you call your second cousin we call her Annie. Well pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family has a drinking problem. It's kind of lame but I guess you just gotta roll with the punches. So they all drink. Every time we go over to my moms family's house, they start drinking, and a fight breaks out. And I'm tried of dealing with that.
     So with that I asked that question. She got mad and asked why I would ask her such a "dumb" question. I said because everytime we go over there everyone drinks and then a fight breaks out. And it's going to be Christmas, I don't feel it's fair that everyone who IS SOBER should have to listen to a bunch of drunks fight. She asked me when has anyone ever fought over there, and let me answer that...EVERY TIME!!
So basically she's pissed and I'm hurt. She told me that I should just have Christmas with my dad since "I didn't want to be with her anyways."
     She started to cry and was like I gave up so much for you and blah blah blah. My mom has never had any parental responsiblities ever. She hasn't paid for anything, never had to drive me any where, never had to deal with some of the crazy school drama that takes place. She's only had to deal with me when it's convinent for her. 
     It really hurts me that she makes me feel guilty, and makes me that bad guy. She's the mom, she's supposed to make decisions that better me, but she chooses to "give things up" for me. I never once asked her for anything. I don't know.
     For as long as I can remember I've tried to please and impress my mom, I guess because she was never there for me I always felt a need to gain her acceptence, and until now I've wanted nothing more than for her to be proud of me, I crapped on my dad and stepmom because they did care about me, and they did care about. They were always there, and loved me no matter what stupid decision I made. I feel bad because of everything I put my parents through, my mom should have been the one I crap on.