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My friends told me what im doing is 'culturally unacceptable' for an Asian girl.
I just got out of a 6month relationship about a month ago. Basically the reason was my ex and I are just really different people...and I couldn't stand him always being so aggressive, bad tempered, and overly sensitive about many things. That night when he got drunk, yelled at me, and kicked me out of MY ROOM - yep, i just know i've had enough.
I told myself it's time to enjoy my single life. Nope. I don't play around. Honestly, I don't really know how to. I mean it's time to treat myself better, make myself stronger and more independent. In the past 4 years, I have become much more dependent and depressed. This is the time for me to fix myself before jumping into another relationship.
Then this guy, Ray, appears. He is such an adorable guy. He's tall, good-looking, hard-working, mature and doesn't seem like those that are playing around. But well, how do i know right? I met him from one of my subjects this semester. Honestly, I don't know him enough yet. But we hooked up really fast. See, i'm not really good with using these terms. He's Caucasian, and I have never been with a non-asian before. I never thought I would have feelings for anybody that's not Asian, but he's really different. I like him. I like seeing him. I like spending time with him, even if it's just sitting on the couch and watch random shows on tv. So far, he seems really good.
Now the main part is, I'm confused. I'm not used to it. First of all, he's Caucasian, and Im pretty sure there would be some difference. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. We were watching random shows on tv, and thanks to the topics that were brought up on "Sex And the City", we kinda got into this moment where I felt comfortable to ask him about our 'relationship status'. He said we're "seeing each other" and it's a "monogomy" relationship. See, i don't really get the "seeing each other" part. I mean, to be frank, we have sex whenever we meet now, and.... well, in the past I would only have sex with my boyfriends. And I don't think "seeing each other" really mean that we're in a relationship. I just feel awkward. YEAH, it's seriously breaking the rules in an Asian culture. My values are somewhere in between the Asian and Western culture. So, yeah, I've been having some emotional breakdowns. One side of me is telling me that it's ok, it's casual sex, people do it all the time... but the Asian side of me is telling me that i should stop seeing him, I have already went wayyyy crossed the boundaries. I'm still seeing him because I do like him, but I don't know about him. Is he trying to know me? Is that the way he dates? I don't even know if this is dating. I don't want to be involved in those "friends with benefits" kinda thing.
I like him, but i don't know if he's only seeing me for sex. HELP. =(
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Posted by enchanter on 2008-06-03 03:56:02 | Rating: | Views: 279
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i know exactly how you feel!
i was in a relationship like this earlier this year and in the end, if you leave things up in the air and uncertain, someone is going to get hurt.
you need to ask him if you are in a relationship, especially if you dont feel right for having sex out of a relationship.
good luck
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Posted by roxietheroxie
on 2008-06-03 07:33:27
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just stop seeing him.. If you are in the Philippines, you'll be dead.. Seriously, our culture is not like that. Women in our country are conservative as well as catholic churches. Please be reminded that you are a woman and save your love and your self to the man that you reaaly love and someone who deserves your affection.. Just an advice from Pinay here.
Goodluck!!!
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Posted by endyinir
on 2008-06-03 07:40:42
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i think you should go with what your heart tells you to do and ask him if you are in a relationship maybe he was witing for you to make the next move you never now but you should ask him if you ar ein a relationship and if you like him your heart will tell you to do the right thing
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Posted by msisover8ed
on 2008-06-03 18:35:50
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first off, you're in America and it seems like you still have this culture shock about some stuff over there. i think you should make things clear by asking him what does he by "seeing each other". ;) don't be shy. it's worse if you misinterpret his "seeing each other". goodluck! ;)
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Posted by waitin
on 2008-06-04 06:36:36
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