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| Oh! What a tangled web we weave when first we prac
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Coming up with a catchy title for my blog was easier than I thought, which was probably due to the fact that I stole the wise words of Sir Walter Scott. Either way, the quote related to what I had previously mentioned in my "Pilot" blog or the game I play where I make up an alternative identity for myself. I'm not sure quite how this game started but the earliest memory I have of it was during a particularly long taxi ride back to my hotel in Orlando, Florida coming from Universal Studios. My best friend and I had just spent the day there and were exhausted and soaking wet from not only rain, but water rides as well. The taxi driver seemed determined not to let us fall asleep in the back of his cab and proceeded to not only tell us about his life story as an ex-veteran, motorcycle riding, people shuttle-er but to ask us details of our lives as well. I have always thought that taxi-rides are a bit uncomfortable and awkward because of the usual silence that envelops the car but on this occasion since the driver wouldn't quit, the silence disappeared and apparently so did I. It started off with a fake name, then a fake hometown, a fake occupation, a fake story, and a fake future. A completely fabricated life. My friend could barely control her laughter but I ignored it and pretended as if what I was saying was comical to her and attempted to slip in jokes to ensure that the driver was not suspicious. The charade continued all the way up to the exchange of money and goodbyes, a shout of thanks, and an air in the cab that smelled of deceit. That's how it began.
For a while I would only create these alter-egos when I took taxis or buses to places. In college I found that since no one knew me besides the friends that I had made I could lie all I wanted and no one would ever catch on. If you're reading this and think I'm crazy or delusional please stop and reconsider. I don't do this often and usually a few people are in on the secret. It's not as if no one knows who I am and that I'm a complete liar. I like to think of myself as a kind of actress in the situations. And who reading this hasn't wanted to be someone else before? What I do reminds me of a Samantha Who? quote, which is a show on ABC and quite comical, that goes like this, "If you could start over, rewind your life, do it all differently. What would you change? Even if that change was hard and scary and might leave you even more alone." I'm allowing myself to have a look around someone else's life. Someone from my imagination with qualities that maybe subconciously I wish I had, or wish I didn't. A couple weeks ago I acted as a 17-year old, pregnant girl who was visiting her bisexual love partner at college. That life wouldn't be for me. I'm not saying that being underage and pregnant is an awful thing and that bisexuality should be frowned upon (if you think that, wake up and watch Tila Tequila's A Shot of Love! America CLEARLY doesn't agree with you) but I am saying that a life led that way would not be satisfying to me. So who cares if I lie? I'm not hurting anyone, I'm just not allowing people to get close to who I am because the truth is sometimes I'm not even sure who that is and I'm afraid that someone will figure it out before I do.
I think what Sir Walter Scott was trying to say was that when we lie or try to get other people to believe our lies, we weave a tangled web that is very easy to get caught in. His exclamation points, however, show that he's either shouting or excited. I'm going to go with excitement and hope that Sir Walter Scott enjoyed creating characters like me (he was a writer wasn't he!) and say that, yeah it's easy to get caught, but half the fun is making your way out around the threads.
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Posted by ellet8929 on 2007-11-14 16:45:39 | Rating: | Views: 1098
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Ah! Just my luck. The title is supposed to read "Oh! What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive!"
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Posted by ellet8929
on 2007-11-14 16:47:01
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I'd be careful you know what they say:
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
J
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Posted by OKOFCOURSE
on 2007-11-14 19:04:30
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