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| 10 Things I've Leared in College..So Far
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My first blog entry and I come up with a boring title. I wish I could embellish it with eloquent words and catchy phrases but all of that would just distract from the message I'm trying to get across which is as plain and simple as a list of 10 things. A few bits of background information that will help you understand how I began to learn these lessons are that I am a freshman at a University school whose population and attitudes are much different from my hometown's. I came here knowing only two people from my school, thankfully one of them was one of my very good friends. I hope you enjoy and are able to use my learning to motivate you to step out of your comfort zone and experience new things as well because learning is not a spectator sport, you have to get a little dirty to really understand things.
1. Be careful what you wish for.
--At first i thought that all I had ever wanted, wished, and hoped for was to be free. Free from the restraints and annoyances at home, free from the drama and conformity of high school, and free from the monotonous nature of seeing the same people every day, all day. I was ready to leave, called going to college my "sweet freedom" at least that's what I thought. Yes, you have so much more freedom, but with great freedom comes great responsibility. I no longer had the nagging of my mom to tell me to do my homework, study, and any other daily routine I always managed to avoid doing, instead I had to dictate my own schedule to myself or I would have already failed out by now. It isn't until you're completely away from things that you learn what and who was most important to you. I consider my mom one of my best friends now, I miss her every day and I miss the comforts of home. I miss my friends, even the ones that I couldn't stand at times, they are my life. I miss my family all together, even my sister who I've never really gotten along with. Most of all I miss my dog, I knew I'd miss her though.
2. Independence is a great way to make new friends.
--Unlike several of my friends who went to college knowing several people from our hometown, my good friend and I were mostly alone. This meant that in order for us to make friends we would have to step out of our comfort zones and branch out to people and hope that they liked the person we were. Our first few days were spent solely with eachother, a sort of security blanket that we both could share. But, due to our seperate majors, seperate dorms, and seperate classes, we couldn't be together all the time. That forced independence has made me some really great friends that I never would have talked to had I not been completely alone. And sure, the feeling of being alone when everyone seems to have someone is terrifying, but you have to keep in mind that somewhere in that room there's someone else who's thinking the same thing. If you make an effort, you can make the best of things.
3. Change isn't good, it's great.
--Discovering parts of yourself that were lying dormant in your personality and soul that you never knew existed is an eye-opening revelation. It's an incredible way to take a few steps back and compare what you were and what you could be, and see if the life you were previously leading was emotionally, physically, and mentally satisfying. I had a carefree attitude in high school. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, I was spoiled, tempermental, and lacked drive or determination in basically everything. In college I discovered that I had a passion for learning, meeting new people, and being studious at times. I learned to appreciate things and the change that I have gone through in only 3 months has been immense and is only the beginning. So with a new hair color that I changed in the beginning of this term I have set out to observe, analyze, and change who I am to who I want to be.
4. Studying is a bitch, pardon my french, but getting the A's in classes is a sweet reward for hard work and dedication.
--In high school, as I have previously said, I hated studying and wouldn't do it at all. I had a low GPA up until my junior year when I began thinking about schools and even then I only did the minimum amount that was required. My parents like to say that I'm naturally smart and unfortunately I must risk sounding arrogant when I say that I agree with them. I've neve had to study excessive amounts to do well and I test very well (part of the reason I'm in the school I am now, thank you SAT's!). In college, however, I knew that I had to step up my game, so to speak, and put forth the effort to sit down, study, and get the job done. I've learned now that my best study hours are from 11pm-2am, that flashcards are your friend, and outlines are your best friends. Now looking back with about a 3.6-3.7 GPA and A's on all of my exams in all but one of my classes (damn you chemistry) I realize how stupid I was in high school. Nothing feels better than getting an A that you worked for, it's really incredible.
5. Sounding smart isn't uncool, quite on the contrary actually.
--Proving to people that you're not what you look like is always the sweetest form of revenge because no one gets hurt. For me, I was never really vocal in my classes about my opinions on issues or the one who shouted out the correct answers even if I knew them. I was afraid of looking like I was above everyone else and that people would label me as the "suck-up" or "brain". Instead, I was labeled as the drama-queen socialite who could be frequently seen on the weekends flirting with your boyfriend. Good trade off, I know. When I got here to school, I still had a label based on the clothes that I wore that were straight from the latest styles and trends, and the makeup that I still feel uncomfortable not wearing. In my major, most of the people don't care about appearances or what the latest styles in trends are and what celebrities are making or breaking them, I, therefore, looked like the bimbo with air filling my skull. Proving to people that I had depth and substance was gratifying and exciting. I impressed teachers with my answers, I had formulated good arguments and discussions in my classes, and let's face it, who doesn't love to hear the sound of their own voice? Proving that people wrong about you: awesome.
6. Work hard, play hard.
--At the end of a long week there is no greater feeling than kicking some back with your friends. My dad gave me this advice and as simple as it sounds it has proved to be one of the best pieces of advice that I've ever received. My dad usually gives out the best and simplest advice and only now have I taken it into consideration. My dad and I are very similar, we both have passions in several fields of study which explains why he changed his major 3 times after completing all the necessary coursework to graduate and why I have a double major and a minor under my belt and this is only my freshmen year. But I digress. After working hard to study for a test or work on a project, after I have turned it in I will almost always go out even if it's a weekday, only if I don't have anything else that week. I like to think that I can party with the best of them, but you must always know your limits. I go home relatively early on most nights if I'm out on the town at around 12:30 or 1am while most stay out until the wee hours of the morning because it works for me. Weekends are a different story. It's all based on what you feel the most comfortable with. If you can't go out at night because you won't wake up, then don't go out, wait for the weekend, it's not for everyone. And if you drink, always know your limits for this. No one wants to be the sloppy drunk at a Thursday night party when you need to wake up in the morning for an 8am class.
7. Judging people is stupid.
--I have always been one to judge a book by its cover. Flashy covers catch my attention and ugly ones I'll usually pass by. If you don't read the back cover though, that flashy cover may have the most boring and superficial plot line and you may have missed the best novel in history by not choosing the ugly one. But this point isn't really about books. They serve more as an allegory. There are a few people here who I immediately judged because of various physical flaws or perfections that they had or the air that they gave off. I gave all these people chances (a new thing for me, again change) and I learned that the girl who appeared beautiful was really nasty and catty and very fake and that the guy who looked like shrek (sorry!) was actually one of the sweetest and nicest people that I have met. The ugliest, fattest, weirdest looking people could turn out to be the people your personality best matches with. That's not to say that there aren't beautiful people that are genuinely nice because there most certainly are. No one says you have to date or become best friends with whoever you meet...just give them a chance to show you who they really are underneath their skin.
8. All guys (okay fine, many) are only after one thing.
--I'm sorry for picking on the guys right now and honestly I KNOW that there are good guys everywhere and that most girls never give them a chance (the disease of the fatal attraction to the badass needs a cure asap!) which isn't their fault. What I do know is that right now, most of the guys that I've encountered aren't looking for true love and magic fireworks exploding at the touch of your lips. They're about sex. Or sexual acts, whatever. I had a "person" which is a really complicated story so I won't elaborate until a future blog, but we had gotten in a fight. I proceeded to go out that night wanting to harmlessly flirt, which I was entitled to do. I immediately had an attraction with one guy who fit the type that I usually went for. Introductions were made and we talked about movies, music, etc. for most of the night. I also took this time to involve him in a game that I like to play where I make up a different life for myself (again a future blog topic). At the end of the night I asked him if he knew my name. He responded with the fake name I had used after the first hour that we had talked. Okay so maybe this is partially my fault for creating an "alter-ego" but I introduced myself! My name isn't hard to remember and maybe if he had been looking at my lips instead of other places he might have remembered as well. When I yelled at him saying that I couldn't believe that he didn't remember, he said "grow up". Clearly I had to grow up to realize that this guy (who was a senior) was only after one thing. Yea, I had to grow up. Long story, little point: take it slow with guys (or girls for all you guys out there), and don't give in. You'll just end up feeling shitty about yourself when you wake up next to a guy who probably doesn't even know your last name.
9. Letting go is hard.
--This applies to a lot of things but the example I'm going to use which helped me realize this is finally relieving myself of my "person". After all is said and done and you're no longer talking to a person a rush of memories tends to flood back into your mind mainly of the good times and letting go of all of it in order to move on with your life seems hard and maybe even impossible. You have to remind yourself of the bad times when you were crying yourself to sleep over this person (or thing) and clearly something was wrong. Sure seeing someone you used to be with with another person is crushing to the heart, but if you allow yourself to put things behind you you can eventually move on to something better. In fact, when I first began talking to my "person" I was getting over a heartbreak I thought would never heal. It's important that you don't forget or regret this person though as much as you'd like to. Whatever relationship you had happened for a reason that once made you very happy and maybe you even fell in love. In the end it's a learning experience and it made you a smarter person in love than you were before.
10. And last but certainly not least: Life is like a game of solitaire.
--I came up with this simile last night when I was taking a break from studying by playing the addicting card game that comes on virtually (no pun intended) every computer (yay for distractions!). My friend told me it sounded like something that came off "hotquotesforlife.com" but I told her to hear me out. Think about it: in solitaire you're dealt piles of cards and a draw section that you must eliminate into piles of four based on the four suits (pardon my terminology from here on out for the game). Sometimes you are dealt with what looks like the worst hand possible or all one color facing up. No one likes that, it means you can't move any cards before drawing. Sometimes the hand that looks perfect ends up not working out and the one that looked the worst wins you the game. I play the version with 3 draw cards at a time and this is frustrating because sometimes you have to use the card on top in order to get to the one you really want on the bottom and even that might not be possible and waiting for it to surface is necessary. Okay so now how this applies to life. What looks to be the worst situation in life could push you and challenge you so much that everything works out for the best and what you think is a "good hand" could eventually lead you into a dead end and what you have to do is start over. Life comes at you fast and throws several things to you at one time. Sometimes you have to complete one task when one is clearly in sight but not possible at the time and that's frustrating as hell but you have to just wait and give things time. The four piles are how people organize their lives and in the beginning of new situations many things are going to be messy and must be organized similarily. Life is solitaire. At least that's how I see it. It's a game that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Just don't give up, admit...it's addicting and quitting addictions are never easy.
Hope you all enjoyed. Until later!
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Posted by ellet8929 on 2007-11-14 10:10:19 | Rating: | Views: 97
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hi elle!
those all sound like very good lessons - and many of them apply beyond the bounds of college. good for u!
:o)
cheers!
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2007-11-14 10:20:14
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so far, so good. seems like you've got your head on pretty straight. what you said about change and judging people is the best, bravo darling!
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Posted by ninjanann
on 2007-11-14 17:44:29
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