| View Blog
|
| break my heart a fourth time & it's shame on me
|
|
|
"I'm tall, strikingly handsome and you love to hate me" said the text, flashing on my phone at 11:39 at night.
After a while, N finally called me. We talked for about an hour and after we got done, I felt like old wounds opened back up. Those wounds that he'd given to me each time that he broke my heart and never apologized for it. We talked about it once and that was it but he keeps bringing up the past. I'm not really sure as to why. When people ask how we know each other, his answer is that I'm his ex. We dated for about 2 months in 8th grade. I would think that anything beyond High School qualifies you to be an ex, not in grade school.
When N's parents split up in high school, we got close and then he would pull away when I knew I was falling for him. Maybe he knew that or saw that and that's why he'd shut me off and out of his life. Happend 3 times. Loved him 3 times and he broke me 3 times.
He was my first love and I will probably always love him. I have him down perfectly as far as pattern and relationship wise. I'm not willing to deal with that anymore. I am with someone who is solid and stable that I can depend on. N says one thing and then does another. I know everyone changes their minds at times but N is to the point of wishy-washy unstable. I can't deal with him and I won't. I imagine that our lives would be me getting frustrated all the time while he chuckles about how he got a rise out of me. I won't spend my life like that, no matter how much I care about N and always will.
|
|
Posted by ell83iris on 2008-03-14 03:59:38 | Rating: | Views: 78
|
| |
|
|
