There has never been a time when I have not believed in God. My mother became a born-again Christian in her early 20s and she raised me in Christ. I attended Christian schools and made my parents pretty proud; I got awesome grades, never drank, never did drugs, went to church and had incredible friends. I even made the decision to get baptized when I was 16 to publicly declare my faith in Jesus Christ.
Then college rolled around. I still got good grades, hung out with awesome people, and rarely went to a party. (Note: I did say "rarely" not "never") My sophomore year I fell in love for the first time in my life with a man who called himself an atheist. Through discussions with him I realized I barely knew anything about my faith! This caused me to get my nose into books on exactly who, what, when, where, why, and how I believed. All the while I never paid attention to the fact that sin and the world were taking over my life; I wasn't as great as everyone in my family and close circle of friends thought I was. I was accepting more and more things I knew were wrong, but I made excuses for my behavior.
After joining the AF I met and married a wonderful, Godly man who has always taken care of me. But the world was still running my life no matter how often I claimed God was first. I rarely studied the Bible, went to church to fellowship with other believers, prayed or worshipped. Even though my spirit had been reborn in Christ (and therefore saved) I was still starving it to the point where battling the temptations of the world became nearly impossible.
Luke 8:13-15 (NIV) -- "Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for awhile, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their ways they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." (emphasis mine)
Luke 11:24-26 (NIV) -- "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."
In December 2005, alone, depressed, and at rock-bottom, I got on my knees and begged for God's grace and direction. I held out my hands in tears and in the midst of pain I felt arms on my own. I have not been the same since. Both my mother and my husband have noticed a positive change in me. I owe it all to the Lord who never left me and I now feed my spirit daily through prayer, praise, and study as I stick close to Jesus' side. It is not easy, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Romans 12:2 (NIV) -- "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will."
I wear a ring around my right ring finger; it's a nail bent into a circle with the inscription "Isaiah 53:5" The prophet Isaiah spoke quite a bit about the coming Messiah. Chapter 53 (done around 680 B.C.) is one of the best chapters. Verse 5 reads "He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (NIV) God Bless! |
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