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I posted this as a thread in the Creatiive Writing Forum but decided I wanted to keep an easy-to-find record of it so I've posted it as a blog entry as well :)
As he sat in silence, contemplating his life and the ruin of it, there was a wisper from under the door.
"I'm sorry Dave, I didn't mean it to end up this way. Please......forgive me??"
"Forgive you for what??" Dave muttered back, "all you did was what you needed to do to be happy. I don't blame you for that"
"your right but look what it's doing to you. I don't want it to be like this." replied the wisper.
Dave wasn't sure what to say next. All he could think about was ridding the world of one more soppy ass git that can't deal with rejection. He glanced down at the 10" blade in his hand. He was trembling. Could he actually go through with it???
He felt a tear trickle down his already sodden cheek. Quicker and quicker it flowed until it reached his jaw. There, it lingered for a moment before falling onto the cold steel sitting in his palm.
"Please Dave, let me in so we can sort this...." The wisper was begging now, "Undo the bolts and remove the chains. Let me hold you in my arms and explain it to you properly."
Dave had forgotten about the way he had locked himself in. It was the only security he could find after what she had said. He knew that if he let her in then he would melt. Never would he find the courage to finish what he had came here to do.
"No. I need to deal with it in my own way. It's not like I don't understand. You think I'm a monster, so you ended the relationship. What you didn't know is that your right. I AM a monster and so I shall rid everyone's life of me." Dave was full on balling now.
"NO!!! NO!!! DAVE!!!! DON'T DO IT!!! please...please...................please" Mary was crying too. She new it was hopeless to try and stop him from what he wanted to do. Despair overwhelmed her and she brokedown.
Dave raised the knife to his wrist and pulled long and hard. He felt the rush of release as the blood poured out. He smiled to himself and took the blade to his remaining wrist.
With his last breath, Dave faltered his favourite words from the bible "And all flesh shall see the salvation of God"
Any comments or feedback is welcome :)
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Posted by eeerm on 2008-02-03 14:53:49 | Rating: | Views: 131
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i loved it,thanks for the comments
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Posted by necronomincon
on 2008-02-04 08:24:24
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Joe,
You fancy stories of death I can tell. I like your writing style. I am not going to say I like the content of this story so much. But, I love how you present it. Good work.
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Posted by InsertHere
on 2008-02-06 16:45:30
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You have a keen understanding of life that most people beyond your years haven't grasped yet. I enjoy your writing. Looking forward to more.
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Posted by perfectlybroken
on 2008-02-06 17:09:47
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Thank you every one :)
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Posted by eeerm
on 2008-02-07 05:23:01
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Wow, I hadnt read these!! I loved the description...sad and heart breaking, but its so identifiable...
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-08-30 14:32:53
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