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" family of four techincally 5 but feels like 3"... growing up life was pretty normal. i was the baby having only one sister. things were ok until i started getting older and noticed that we never really have family time. i mean we were a family,mom and dad sister and me living in a house togther, RiGHT?....FAMILY??.

how completly wrong was i . looking back now it was more of my mom doing everything for us. she was the one always there. wen we'd go out of town she was the one we went with while dad would stay home to "work". i thought it was pretty normal then but now its just soo weird.
i mean ive never really been a daddy's girl and my sister was glued on to my mom. even now they have such a close realitionship. something i always wanted.
now we all still live in the same house everything is "normal" as it was then but now alot more is out in the open. my dad had an affair, having his beloved amber.. my new babay sister ( god how it burns me to call her that).. tho shez only one and had no choice in being born.. she completly ruined my life.
maybe later on in life i will learn to accept her.. but now i refuse to.
the reason i said we are "normal" is becaz we act like nothings wrong. we , as a family , dont really talk about things. they argue i listen ..it ends for a while.
i usually have my breakdowns in the bathroom while my mom cries late at night while she things everyone is asleep. my older sister is her rock. while i being the nobody in the house, just sits infront of the computer and rant to people i dont even kno. ( arrg im trying not to rant tho)
things have gottent to be really shitty over the past years. i have completly distanced my self from my family and im completly annoyed by myself. i guess thats why i stick tomusic some much. it wont judge me it wont hurt me. it wont disappoint me.