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Today I woke up and for the first time in a month. ... I saw myself. I mean yes there have been mirrors and I have seen my relfection. But today I truly saw myself again. It was weird because after being empty for so long.... I saw my wholeness again. I think it really hit me though when there weren't tears in my eyes or at least not tears of sadness. I saw the person I used to be and I don't know why or how but I am glad. I'm glad I am finally beginning to accept myself and love myself. So I have made mistakes. Don't we all. I don't think I should have to pay forever for stupid things I have done. I have done more then my fair share of good things as well. But something different happened. I didn't care who loved me today, I didn't care who wanted to be my friend, or hold my hand or tell me they love me. Because today I did something I haven't done in a really long time. I loved myself. This might not make sense to you.... hell I'm not even sure it makes sense to me but it happened. Today I started new. Today was truly a new beginning and I don't know how or why but thank you. Whoever and whatever gave me the opportunity to climb out of the emptiness. Im grateful. |
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Posted by dru625 on 2008-03-24 16:17:41 | Rating: | Views: 67
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HI-I am glad you have become aware of yourself again. I, too, have lost complete control of who I am. I have so many problems, that I create myself, that I wind up hating me. I am older and should have learned from experience and situations, that I should not subject myself to self-destruction. I have a tendacy to do so. I am looking to recover and you have given me hope. I hope that you are feeling good about yourself each and every day. No one else will do it for you.
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Posted by lucky33
on 2008-03-24 17:36:34
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PS I was born and raised in Wayne, Penna and now live in the mid-west. I miss Phila so much. My husband's job keeps us here.
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Posted by lucky33
on 2008-03-24 17:38:55
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