I was thinking the other day about life and why I am in it. Sometimes I ask myself what I am doing and why am I so busy with everyday things like paying bills, working, going to school, trying to look good, trying to keep up with the latest trends and trying to please people. It's like my whole life I am trying to be somebody I am not, just so I can be successful, look good, earn money, and have power and authority. Was I meant to get up early, sit in a cube at work, stare at a screen, spend money on clothes that are in fashion (meanwhile there are people with none in other countries and in our own), Go out dress up as if I were famous or a celebrity just so I can be a faker because I think everybody is watching me and I need to stand out because I am better than everybody else. But in the mean time everybody else thinks that everybody is watching them so really nobody is watching you and nobody cares and everybody thinks they are the centre of the world. What happened to real people? Even though I know there is more to life than that stupid scene of people trying to impress people and earn money and be selfish I still struggle with it. I live near a city in Vancouver, BC and Vancouver is a busy city, lots of business people who are rich and have nice cars and live in a good city with little crime and they say they are "happy. Now let me define the difference between happiness and Joy. Happiness comes and goes it's an emotion. A depressed person can be happy because they have highs and lows because their emotions change all the time. It's a lack of consistency. Joy is totally different Joy belongs in a lifestyle. To be joy filled is a constant knowledge of comfort and purpose in your life I think. People aren't joy filled in North America because we are all fakers trying to be powerful and rich and somebody your not. There are facts that prove this and one is that North America has the highest suicide ratings in the world and has the highest depression rates in the world. What does this say about North American culture? It says that we are selfish and lonely rich fakers. Sorry to be so strong but I am in search of permanent joy not temporary fulfillment. I have found a joy in serving Jesus, for Jesus has a heart for the poor so I serve in the downtown east side where poverty is at it worst, I love to hang with people who are struggling through live because we can learn so much from one another and it brings me great joy. I don't want to spend my money on myself for it brings me sadness. I want to bless the least of these just like Jesus did. I want to mourn with those who need to mourn. I want to serve my God for I have asked my God to break my heart for what breaks his. And so my purpose in life is to love those around us who need to be loved, to bring justice to a city with poverty, to speak for those who have no voice, to create a revolution of love in a world that has none. For there are people with far greater problems that your stocks losing points or your car rusting, or you not having the latest video games, WHO CARES! There is a God who has called me to Love. For he will ask me on the final day. "What did you do with the least of these?"

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