As word has it, supergenius and fucking babe Portes is typing away, as we speak, or blog, or something, on the screenplay for HICK. This information fills me with more hope than an Obama speech, as I was worried the big jaws of Hollywood would come gripping down on this neo-phyte bestselling novelist, spitting her up and throwing her into the woods with little more than a thank you shrug. I've had a few close friends get royally fucked in this town and so I am crossing my fingers that Portes stays close to this project before it gets turned into a buddy movie with a possible orangutan. Rumor has it, also, that there are more scripts on the way from Portes, a surprise departure from her literary roots. I will be looking forward to them, considering her string of legendary enfant terrible director/writer ex-boyfriends. I'm willing to bet she learned a thing or two in some of those lunches, watching whoever it was at the time annoy the fuck out of whatever suit was a'knocking. It seems Troy Duffy is the only cautionary tale she DIDN'T go out with. However, from what I can tell, he's not really her type. (She seems to go for skinny creepy looking guys.)( Steve Buscemi, watch out!) I met Portes years ago at a BBQ in the Silverlake hills, thrown by Melody McDaniel. It seems like that crowd has spawned more than a few Hollywood success stories, including the likes of Maya Rudolph, Spike Jonze, Casey Storm, Nancy Steiner and, of course, Sophia Coppola. The funny this is that, when I met Andrea, she came across as incredibly shy and, to be blunt, sexually enticing. I would never have guessed that inside that tossled swimming-pool drying blonde head, there would be the likes of HICK. It just goes to show you that in this town, you really just never fucking know. Whatever the case may be, I don't care who she hangs out with, as long as she keeps writing. I will read those words to my dying day. Be warned, if you're looking for chic lit, you've come to the wrong place.