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I seem to have lost the will to live.
I don't understand the reason to go on when things only seem to get worse.
I want to refuse the fact that we as humans have come this far just to become slaves to peices of paper but to do so just seems to be lazy.
I just feel that we as a spiecies have already peeked and just are on our downward spiral towards extinction.
I long for a time when the human spirit will rule culture and life, promoting understanding, unity, and love.
Love existed back in the days of yore but now it seems to just be another ideal lost, defeated by the ascention of the human mind in exchange for the human spirit.
Experience informs the mind, allows the mind to grow, but also with experience comes the numbing of the soul to maintain what the mind knows in conflict with that what the soul feels.
At times it seems I know too much and feel too little, while at other times I feel more than I care to know.
I feel trapped in a world I dont belong.
A past I wish I could return to, a present I dont care to live, and a future that holds no hope.
I'm just a coward with no conviction and a lonley heart.
I see what I need to do, understand the consequences of what will happen if i dont do it, and yet lack the will to do what needs to be done.
Consumed by the urge to stimulate myself into a coma.
I hate to feel when I feel bad.
I fail to see the point to search for what makes you happy when you're only gonna miss it when its gone.
And to miss is such a far more intense a feeling than joy.
Joy is short lived while sorrow is an everlasting impression on the soul.
Scarred from birth it seems, my soul was never whole, doomed to be incomplete forever.
To sleep is to escape from the pain of the physical world and become immersed in the false hopes of the mental.
Dreams become the novacain to ease the soul but its a remedy short lived with the sideffect of rude awakenings.
Why cant i just live life like everyone else?
I have such trouble easing the pain, letting go of what holds me down, doing what is necessary to grow.
Life seems a task ill fit for the likes of me.
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Posted by depletedsoul on 2008-03-24 05:15:13 | Rating: | Views: 53
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From your post it seems as if you are facing great downfalls right now and have no one really close to share those thoughts with. But hey cheer up I belive i love and many people around me truely love me so you will also find someone caring and loving soon. So don't lose hope and be strong.
We all here in thoughts.com are your friends and will surely listen to what you want to share and don't worry too much.
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Posted by neha1987
on 2008-03-24 05:22:17
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