My hubby always tells me that happiness is a state of mind. I beg to differ. Try telling that to someone who is a big ball of emotions, who can explode any minute. He seems to not have a care in the world, and maybe that's our balance. I worry, about everything. He's nonchalante. I want to be happy, all the time, but, everytime I walk in the bathroom and see the cap off the toothpaste, I just want to f*cking rip my teeth out. I guess I'm just a little upset because I want my life to be more than what it is. More than just cleaning and feeding and worrying and yelling and repeating myself each and every day. Now, I'm afraid, because I know how irrational I can be. I know that I may be bi-polar. ( another self diagnosis ). Sometimes I just get the urge to go be a stripper again. I need some excitement.