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I have found myself in one of the most difficult times of my life. My husband, over the period of the last 41/2 years we have been married has totally destroyed his health. Starting at a petite 350, he has packed on at least 250 more pounds and is easily over 600 now.
He was warned 2 years ago (at 500 lbs) to start losing weight or he would be dead in a year. He has been on disability for 2 years, can't walk more than about 20 feet, can't breath, and has a host of diseases caused and exacerbated by morbid obesity.
The anger, resentment, disapointment, hurt, futility, dispair, and disillusion that I feel over him choosing to kill himself in this slow motion continues to rise as his health and mind continue to decline. On the one hand, I know his choice of death is not my fault or my responsibility. On the other, I still care about him and believed him when he said we would have a good 20 years of happy marriage. Knowing that things will probably continue to get worse before the end just adds to the sense of impending doom.
I Thank God that during this dark time in my life he has brought me new friends that have rallied around me mentally and spiritually. There are people that I can talk to, people that are praying for our situation and people to help keep me sane when I become completely overwhelmed with the enormity and realness of it all. I give God the glory and thank Him for His faithfulness. He has proven to me that not only will He never leave me or forsake me, He will make sure that others wont as well. Thank you Jesus!
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Posted by debwrkn4jesus on 2007-10-30 20:28:45 | Rating: | Views: 124
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Let me start by saying that you are in my thoughts and prayers; I have a friend who is on a crash course with death due to morbid obesity (close to 650 and still gaining) but in denial, so I feel some of your pain on a personal level.
I do have a suggestion, which is going to sound harsh, but I promise it's not meant that way. As someone so close and there to care for your husband, you are an enabler. With the help of these new friends who are there for you in mind and spirit - as I would like to be - it is vital for your own sanity NOT to enable any further detrimental activity.
While you cannot undo what has already been done, you CAN stop any further harm with a change in diet, a forced plan of exercise (even if it's just you assisting with leg lifts in the bed), and a positive attitude, the latter of which I can see you possess.
I have every confidence in your ability to stop the clock now and try to save yourself emotionally and your husband physicallly through prayer and a lifestyle change. I am available whenever you need a shoulder to lean on (or advice - I've helped morbidly obese people regain control of their lives before). Best of luck, and God Bless.
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Posted by txblondie
on 2007-10-30 20:59:43
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Oh dear Deb.
I am so sorry you have to face this.
There is nothing I can say to make it all better.
Just know that you are both in my prayers.
I am here for you.
I wish you both the best.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-10-30 21:40:47
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Deb, know that my prayers are with you, sweetie.
Your posts and comments always brighten my day.
I wish I had some words of wisdom or something...sorry. Know that if you need anything, I'm here for you. And...I'm praying for you.
Thanks so much for your sweet spirit.
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Posted by naomidarlene
on 2007-10-31 00:11:03
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Standing with you in prayer,
Alice
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Posted by Alice
on 2007-10-31 01:40:11
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Thank you guys. Blondie, it's nice to meet you and I very much appreciate your comments. I might be sending you a message for more tips!
DS, Naomi and Alice, you are surely 3 of those friends I mentioned above! I appreciate and covet those prayers. It's nice to know you're out there.
Deb
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Posted by debwrkn4jesus
on 2007-10-31 18:32:02
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Deb,
I can only express that I can understand your feelings of helplessness. My brother is now on death's door because he refused to treat his diabetes. He is not heavy, but the opposite. But because of his refusual to eat correctly or to take his medication correctly he has worn out his heart, and now the doctors have given him 2 weeks to live. He has been trying to "kill" himself for over 10 years. Yes it is a slow process but hard to watch. We don't know how to pray for him because he wants to die. My prayers are with you, I can understand your pain. Believe that God will see you through this also.
Cyndi
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Posted by sistercyndi
on 2007-11-01 09:40:11
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Cyndi, I'm sorry for yours as well.
We don't know how to pray for him because he wants to die.
That's where I am too. And worse than that, if he does not want to be a man of God, I'm honestly better off without him. We will just have to see what God decides to do. I mostly just try to pray that His will be done. We are having a prayer meeting this evening. I look forward to posting a praise report!
Deb
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Posted by debwrkn4jesus
on 2007-11-02 09:17:14
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