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| Sober over 7 years and proud of it...
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I am very proud to say that I have not had a drink in over 7 years. A month before my 40th birthday (and after years of trying my damndest), I made a conscious effort to eradicate alcohol from my life. It was not an easy task but I knew I had absolutely no choice in the matter if I wanted to save my life and stop the continuing downward spiral. Drinking for me was always a social thing (all my friends did it as well), until my marriage fell apart. It was at that point in my life (age 31) that I became a closet alcoholic. I was very depressed and all I could think about was my failed marriage and getting my next drink. I am a graphic designer and have always been very successful at my job. I was highly functional during the day while at work and in the evenings I preferred to be alone to wallow in my sadness, with my trusty bottle of white wine. I would drink a large bottle (1.5 liter) every night until I passed out. At times I would call and order food in and can remember giving large tips to the delivery person because I felt sorry for them. So many times, I can remember waking up after passing out—all ready to eat the delivered food—only to find out that I had already eaten it! So sad...I used to get on the phone (there is an actual term called "drinking and dialing") and call everyone I knew (even co-workers) and chat for as long as they would put up with me and my slurring conversation. Did I really think nobody knew I was shitfaced? I think I did believe that to be quite honest! I would make plans to do things with the person on the other end of the reciever and we would talk about all kinds of things. Now, it did backfire a few times when it was a co-worker and they would ask me questions the next day and I could not remember what we discussed the previous evening. Talk about embarrassing! So I just really want to say that I know there are so many people out there that want so badly to quit drinking, drugs, etc., any co-dependency issue they may have. I never have ever been to an AA meeting, I have no interest in having their ideas and opinions shoved down my throat. I know they do a lot of good for some people, they just aren't what I subscribe to. I firmly believe you have to work hard to abstain from things that are ruining your life. I have very high standards and like nice things. At the rate I was going, I would have no job or career left by now and would probably be living under a bridge if I hadn't made the conscious decision that alcohol was destroying my life, and most importantly: me. It almost made me into an ugly old hag (FYI: alcohol dries you from the inside out...)I want to tell you that you too can beat this. If I can, anyone can. I changed the drinking behavior and stuck to my guns and my life has only improved for the very best. In fact, it gets better all the time when you live in reality. When you are drunk all the time, your brain gets very fucked up and cloudy. You simply can no longer think clearly and it takes a long time after quitting to regain clarity again. I was so tired of being "sick and tired." Red eyes, hung over...jeez, that sucked so badly!Each year on my anniversary date of November 23rd (I quit in 2000), I buy myself something nice as a reward for my ongoing effort. One year it was a new car, the next year it was a trip, and five years ago it was a house! I deserve it and I am worth it...JUST LIKE YOU!! Peace and thanks for reading my post. It helps me to talk about this. It has been very hard work for me. Deb |
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Posted by debdriscat on 2008-02-15 20:38:58 | Rating: | Views: 77
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Hi Deb!I had read a comment you left on another page.So I hope I caught you before you jumped to another site.It is important to be acknowledged.Unfortunately quite a few fall by the whey or weigh(im not sure,hopefully you get the gist)side.I only tend to comment where it is fitting for me to do so.I complain in my blog,it helps take the edge off whats bugging me.I would like to congratulate you on your sobriety,good for you!Sounds like it was a tough road to hoe.I have underlying issues with alcoholism,my father is an alcoholic.But,again I congratulate you on your sobriety.So many of us medicate ourselves with bullshit.Lot's addictions to choose from.Addiction is addiction enough said.By the way you love "the office" so do I.I have a special fondness for Dwight Schrute, he is such an ass.But a damn funny ass!Ill leave you with a couple of Dwightism's "Questionnnn" and "you cant fire me I dont work in this van"! Take care:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-02-19 12:35:26
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That is so wonderful!!!!!!!
Congratulations!!!!1
Best wishes forever and ever for you!!!
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Posted by Fancie
on 2008-05-29 14:18:14
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