Continuing from the last entry...after debating weather if I should or shouldn't....I did. He apologized over and over..I could tell by the tone in his voice he had cried all day. He said,"I called you all day but you didn't answer, I was so scared you would not call back...I haven't even tooken a shower, I know what I did was horrible and I don't know what to say except that I am so sorry and that I love you too much to loose you, please take me back...." I was scared, I cried, my heart ached so much...I said yes.

    That was thursday. The next day, friday...I went to church and one of my friends said hi to me. I ended up telling him everything that happened that whole week. Thats where it all began...well, at the time I did not know it but it was. This all ocurred before my friend from church, Sebastian's b-day. I remember I called to say happy bday and when I see him that sunday at church I would sock him in the arm 20 times. He said, I would owe him 20 misses instead...I of course laughed it off but little did I know he actually meant that. The days passed and finally the time came to move into the dorms. I did, it was weird but great. That following week was labor day and all of us from church decided to celebrate together at the retreat camp. I remember we found a whiteboard and began doodling, the youth and I, just random things. Se bastian got it and wrote, " S+J" inside a heart... I am so slow I did not notice what he meant by it but his sister, my friend did. From there on there would be constant txt messaging and flirting. Keep in mind I am still with my bf of the time. I did not cheat on him with this guy but my feelings little by little began to fade and soon I began to like Sebastian. I tried to deny but one night I just could not. My relationship at that point got really rocky, New Years came and I spent it at church with him. I still loved my bf but by this time into the new year all we did was fight and in that spring semester, those 4 months, i think was the most any boy had ever made me cry. But, at the same time there was Sebastian...being a great friend...