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| not sure of anything right now
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....my sister, nieces, and brother and law are here and its so awesome to see them....my nieces are big....the eldest is my height already and growing.....thats crazy.... ive been thinking about him all day....weve messaged each other....i dont know whats going to happen...he doesnt know either....i guess, we just have to wait.....i miss him so much.... this sucks.....I hate this whole love business....its like a poison arrow....it hurts....its hard to understand, why isnt it ever easy.....what drives me even more nuts is the fact that this whole thing gets me this way....this is ridiculous..i never wanted to love....i never saw any point to it....whats the point....what is love......i dont know....a lot of people say its when you get goosebumps....when you get butterflies in your stomach....when you cant stop thinking about the person....we describe all these other feelings to explain A FEELING....an emotion... it engulfs you like the wind....it takes you in so many different directions....sometimes it hits you lightly, so gently you can barely realize its all around you....other times its so strong it almost knocks you over....what is love....is it the most beautiful thing we have ever experienced....is just a dream.....a wish....a tragedy that leaves you wishing you had never met......i cant define love.....for a long time I have tried....I always tried to but, the fact of the matter is that all my preconceived ideas of it were false.....emotions or feelings used to try to express another....its like when someone asks you to define a word without using the word in the definition....i dont know....I think the safest and most surest thing that I can say about love is that it exists....I dont think it comes in any specific shape of form....like the wind....it's invisible to the naked eye....it shows itself through the movement of others....through smiles....through hugs.....through kisses....through dreams.....i think the best definition of love and the only one that is worth defining it by is in the Bible....1 Corinthians 13.....Love is.....
I don't think you could ever love me....I don't think that I ever have....who knows....but I guess, one day, the wind will bring the one for me....it will engulf us both.....the one great thing about love is that its yours....
it is.....we are.....i am.....if only my love life had a textbook to go by it.....it would make things so much more easier...but i guess that's the wonderful thing about life....its a mystery.....a surprise....something new everyday....i was never good at formulas anyway....i always went by feeling....there goes that word again...feeling.....
my love...wherever you are.....i hope to be the best person i can be for you....to give you my heart....my life....my love....my time....my health.....to spend nights awake taking care of your flu.....to encourage to never give up.....to give all that I am to you.....to let you know everyday that you're the most incredible person I have ever met.....to grow old together....to be one under our mighty Creator.....I may not have you yet with me, but I love you......
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Posted by dearestjenn on 2008-06-07 18:03:45 | Rating: | Views: 77
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