Dear Josh,

    Sorry to hear that you died...that you were killed by two gunshot wounds.It hurts me to knwo that I will never see you again and even more so that your brother Adam, the love of my life is in so much pain right now. I miss you dearly and your sudden departure hurts me very much. I am so sorry for not having given you the one thing that truly matters in life...JC. I keep wondering what happened? what were you doing....You were only 17. Were...that word, past tense of being. You are a being that was but now is not. It tears me up inside. I never got a chance to say bye or hi again after so long. Please know that I will do anything I can to take care of Adam...I know you love him and I do too. I'm sorry for everything.