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I wonder if I'll make it. I wonder if I'll ever get it right. The more I see what life isn't about, the more I wonder if I'm cut out for this. I have let cultural and personal expectations cloud my perception to the point that upon glimpsing at true reality, I find it depressing and undesirable.
God, why is it going this way? You gave me choice but tell me what to choose. You gave us hearts but tell us they are deceitful above all else and not to be trusted. Life isn't about growing up, falling in love, starting a family and imparting truth to children. Life is cold, hard and sad because in the end it's all meaningless. My actions will not create an everlasting current that touches other's lives. No, its a flash in the pan. God is mass producing humans, and testing them to see if they work the way He intended them to. Despite all of my attempts at religion or reckless abandon to Jesus, it seems like there are some bugs in me that just can't be worked out.
The more I investigate the more hopeless I feel. When did this happen? How is it that some pompous religious type can tell me that I have it all wrong and that they can fix me all the while wrapping it in pretty 'God' paper? My spirit is dead and my heart is broken. Not because of lost romance, but because I see myself as an abandoned child.
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Posted by deadpan on 2008-03-25 15:35:03 | Rating: | Views: 69
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You're not alone.
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Posted by SubTomato
on 2008-03-25 19:07:29
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Thanks Sub! =)
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Posted by deadpan
on 2008-03-25 19:22:58
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