Today started out like every other day here. I woke up. Actually, I woke up not immediately knowing where I was. But it all came back to me as I saw Alice's long awaited luggage in the corner. I just knew it was going to be a good day because Alice wouldn't be shopping for clothes. We were to meet Margaret for breakfast. (For those of you who, like me, have brief attention spans, I remind you that Marg is our Aussie friend who lived in Princeton for a while.). Marg picked us up at our hotel and took us to her favorite breakfast spot by one of the piers. I was quite relieved that they had typical breakfast food and I didn't have to eat chum or Roos-In Bran (thank you Adam!) Or any fish based or local delicacy. After all, while I am enjoying my time on this "little" pacific island, I had had enough of anything with local flavor. I just prayed that not a single walla-anything or kanga-something or other would cross my path. While Marg outsmarted us yet again to pay the tab (this was really getting embarassing) we decided to go to famed Bondi Beach (pronounced Bond-Eye. For those of you who are barely awake or really need the help, the second word is pronounced BEECH; hey, there's no reason this can't be educational......ok, there is). Of course, since it was famed, I had never heard of it before. Remember, Alice
planned all this stuff and I'm just here to carry her suitcase (so far a really easy job for obvious reasons, if you've been following along) and pay for stuff. Marg recommends that we take the bus, so we do so. Marg
is very insistant and, to be honest, I don't want to set her off cause she scares me. Ok, so we are on the bus. I hate buses. I spent many hours of my life riding a bus to and from Manhattan when I lived in Manalapan and Old Bridge. I always felt cheate cause I could have been wasting that time on the train. Anyway, I come out of my antacid flashback and take in the sights. It looks like the lower east side. We finally make it to the beach. Now this is a beach. The water is a truly beautiful blue. There are picturesque cliffs, rock formations and amazing coves. There are also topless women. Let me say that again in case you didn't hear me: there are topless women. It made me yearn for the days when I used a kick-ass single lens reflex with an unbelievable
telephoto lens. I don't want to sound like a perv cause goodness knows I am not. (Wait a minute, I have to stop laughing. Wait, wait, wait. Ok. No wait, still laughing.). Anyway, we didn't go to the beach to actually go on the beach. We were just there to stroll from Bondi Beach to Koalaroowallawallabilbycrocodundee Beach. (Ok, I made that one up cause I don't remember the name of the other beach. I may have been side-tracked by the half naked women. But who knows. See comment above about my attention span.). Anyway, we trek to the other beach, sweating off a good 3 or 4 hundredths of an ounce. Of course, it would have been great to actually go in the water to cool off, but why would we bring swimwear to a beach. What kind of people do you think we are? We decide to get a bite to eat. We find a very nice cafe across from the beach. The people who run the place have accents and even the Aussies don't understand them. Alice thinks they are Israeli; I think maybe they're just slow. Anyway, we eat and head back to town via bus. No flashback. On the walk back to the hotel, we decide to go for a loop on the monorail system. Talk about going around in circles.... It was very smooth, very efficient and very boring. I yearned for the bus. Ok, so we finally make it back to the hotel and we shower. (I knew you'd be
relieved.) We were going to meet Marg for dinner (we are frightened to eat without her. She may have put an Aussie hex on us. But I'm not sure.). So we walk to Darling Harbor to meet Marg. Walking was a mistake. We are sweating and in need of another shower. I don't think the restaurant will have one though. We decide to go to a seafood restaurant in the Star City Casino. It's the perfect location since it is picturesque and in the same building as the theater we are going to after dinner. The three of us have tickets to Priscilla Queen of the
Desert. For those of you who do not know, the show is based on an Aussie film, of the same name, from the 80's, I think. It is about a journey made by three drag queens. (For those of you who think it sounds familiar, you may have seen the original Aussie movie or the American version, To Wong Fu With Love Julie Newmar. No I didn't make that up. Really. Check imdb.com if you don't believe. And shame on you if you don't. Do I seem like the kind of guy who would make stuff up? Oh, you think so? Then hell with you!!!

The show was a lot of fun. Most of the music consists of familiar songs (mostly disco) adapted for the show. And who doesn't like exotic drag queens with fabulous shoes? And there was a part of the show where some
local critters are run over (yippee) by the bus used by the drag queens. (Hmmm, I wonder if they had flashbacks as well.). After the show, we bought some souvenirs and then Marg dropped us off at the hotel. Frankly, I think she was relieved to see us go so she didn't have to hang out with us. And yes, I paid for dinner, after warning the waiter of Marg's trickery.

Tomorrow moring we are off to Ayres Rock. For those of you who are unfamilar with Ausie geography, Ayres Rock is, it's a, umm, well, it's a rock. A big one. I guess it's named after a guy named Ayres. But I don't really know. Remember, I'm just here to carry the bags and pay for things. Besides, I think Alice believes that giving me advance info would only fill my mind with too many details. Oh, and we are flying to Ayres Rock so Qantas has another shot at our luggage. I hate them. I really do.