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I was posting this on a survey, but decided that 1,000 words was not enough. I wanted all who felt the need to hear more of this sideways/indirect tale to get it all.

I sat in a parking lot with my new born son across the field from Columbine that day. The Police flooded the area. Everyone in the area held hostage as they did not want any movement in or out at that time.

Just prior to the police coming in I watched (Not knowing at the time) A parent pull up in his jeep, open the door and startes running frantically across the field. His engine still running, the door open. at the time I thought he was nuts, and as the police cars surrounded the area, I thought he was a fugative.

During the 3 and 1/2 hour stint I sat there waiting to be released to go home, I was not informed of what was going on. My car, my son's diaper bag, my purse were all searched as I was told nothing. When I finally arrived home, I turned on the television to see the horror of what was going on just a few hundred yards away. Even at that moment in time, the police were not sure if there were more bombs, if there was a shooter outside of school grounds. I watched anxiously for hours as it unfolded. It was later when I was able to realize that the "fugative" was a parent trying to reach his child who had called his father via cell phone. I have the picture permenently etched in my brain.

A family "friend" ( I use the term loosly as I never cared for the woman) was a "Green" Deputy for the Jefferson County sherrifs department. she was posted as sentry at the entrance to the school grounds. she grinned as she told stories of a parent who could see his child (who had jumped from a window lying on the ground yards away) trying to fight with her to get to his child. as she had to use force to subdue him. I still to this day wonder if it might have been the "fugitive" Father who came up to her. As she puffed up proud of her job. I left the room sick and myself trying to controll my anger so I myself didn't take a swing at her. This was his child lying lifeless. I would rather lose my life rather than let some sanctimonious bitch keep me from my child.

When asked about how I feel about Columbine I must honestly say I am still sick and numb. It was an amazingly sad day. I still wonder if Dylan and Eric could have been saved from themselves. Certainly they were not hopeless. I grieve for the parents, who came upon the scene, I greive for the survivors who will never have that sense of innocence and security again.I grieve for Harris' and Klebold's who will for thier lifetime be a social pariah.

I now work at a school. I am an administrator. I also teach a Speech and Drama Class. I know each student very well. I take the time. I look into there eyes. I pull them in to talk one on one at least monthly. I walk the halls, sit in the classes, and observe. These are My kids during the day. Not by flesh , but by emotion. If there is a way to help any child I am there to listen.

I will not let my school become Columbine. Not because of force, but because of love.