Thoughts.com Blogs - Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Had lunch with BH Real Estate Guy today. Once again, older and way more boring than I could have ever imagined. What? You like to play poker and have just discovered it in the past couple of years? Amazing. I bet you are the ONLY one! Plus he kept telling me how he felt like he was coming down with something. Then he offered me some food from his plate---uh, thanks, but I'm gonna pass., Typhoid Mary.

I went on this date with very high hopes. I am increasingly anxious to find someone other than Crafty. I have a terrible feeling that this will only end in heartache.

Case in point? Today. He was supposed to spend the day with me. Actually, we were supposed to spend YESTERDAY together, but then there was the whole Superbowl thing. So I went and made dinner for four fabulous gay guys (could I be a bigger fruit fly?) while he got trashed in the Valley. But he promised me today. And then I get a text telling me that they need him to prep today because they scheduled him to work a last minute job tomorrow.

I get it. It's his job. But I don't think i am equipped to handle a man with a schedule like that. Maybe before Douchebag, but he really messed with my ability to trust. When I got the message, my heart just sank. Crafty then called a few minutes later, apologizing and telling me how pissed he was that he had to work. Great. But that didn't make me feel any better. I mean, if he REALLY wanted to spend time with me, then he probably should have done it yesterday as scheduled.

I feel like this is a pattern and so far he has done nothing to prove me wrong. In the end, i didn't want to be overly dramatic and so i agreed to go with him to prep for his job. Basically, it just means going to the grocery store, which I love anyway. But I am one step closer to the door now. I've got to find a way to extricate myself from him. My friend J. has set me up with Super Jew (her designation for him, not mine) and I am really hoping that he and I hit it off. She has been trying to set me up with him for a while now. Perhaps everyone else that I've been out with is just so hopelessly dull that Crafty looks good by comparision. Maybe all i need is someone else to have some chemistry with and then I can forget about this one. I am trying to live in the moment, but all I feel right now is that I am treading a path towards doom and heartbreak. The dread that is in my heart no longer outweighs the joy. I need to move on.

So long Crafty, I'll be gone as soon as I can.