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| Licking my wounds |
I'm pouty. I can't help it. Crafty is pulling away and I can feel it. He is so not good for me, which is probably why I feel so attached. After our day together, he went out and got completely loaded. I hate that kind of behavior. You're 32, guy. College is long over. I sent him an email yesterday explaining why I was so upset about how he keeps saying he is "jaded", how I feel judged by what other women have done to him.
He responded that he didn't know what I wanted but it was all he could give. And he's right. I've known this from the start. We had a terse little exchamge tonight via text. He says he's getting sick. I asked if he is working tomorrow. He says they cancelled the shoot. I say that's good, he could probably use the rest. He says he's got a full day tomorrow and has to go. I say goodnight.
It's almost that time. That time where I erase the number from my phone so i won't be calling or texting him through the day. He is pulling away and I have to let him. It breaks my heart, but he is no good for me in the end. It's a shame. I really REALLY liked this one. I thought that I could really fall in love with him. But it's not what he wants and I am done chasing after guys who do not want me. I have so many who are pursuing me. I should go with those options. I can't handle another Douchebag situation, I can't handle being crushed like that. It's time to pull out. Oh, Crafty. I wish you could trust me like I trusted you.
I saw Yacht Boy tonight. Watched a DVD at my place and I made him dinner. It was okay, but he's got that sharp East Coast edge that I don't like. Everything is contentious and the boy talks about himself ALL THE TIME. I finished my pasta so far ahead of him. He said, "wow, you must have been hungry". No, dude, it's just that you didn't eat since your mouth was going the entire time!
Plus he drives a Miata. Now I'm not one to judge a man by his car. Whatever, as long as it gets you from point A to point B. But a Miata? What kind of Peter Pan drives a Barbie car like that? Hey man, put your mid life crisis back in the garage and call me when you have a real mode of transportation.
I see Hot Cop tomorrow for a hike and the Professor on Thursday (Valentine's. Weird) for a first date. I'm so ambivalent about all of this. But I am going to do my best to appoach these dates with an open mind. I have a heaviness in my chest, though. I wish Crafty would just sack up and decide what he wants. But I fear it will always be me trying to convince him that I am the one. I need a man who is sure. And he's not it.
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Posted by datingretard on 2008-02-11 02:38:02 | Rating: | Views: 158
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