| View Blog
|
|
|
|
| Droopy Dog |
I've been emailing back and forth with some regularity with Droopy Dog, a funny and literate screenwriter/novelist. We finally have found time to meet and he suggests BLD, a restaraunt I've been dying to try. Fantastic!
I head over there and when I see him I know immediately--this dog ain't gonna hunt. He looks like he could be my high school geography teacher. And like I've said before, I don't think the man has to be George Clooney, but he sure as shit can't be George Washington either!
But he and I proceed to have a fabulous lunch, full of fun and smart conversation. It flowed casually and easily, but there were no sparks. The tinder box was soggy and the matches were wet. I am sure it didn't help that Crafty was on my mind the entire time. In fact, when I spoke to him last night, he asked when I was going on my date. He wanted to harrass me during it. And sure enough, he was texting. I had my phone on silent but kept seeing the message light go on. I was itching to read his text, but restrained myself.
Droopy Dog asked if we could do lunch again, and I said absolutely, without any hesitation. Truth be told, I had a really nice time, and everyone who isn't psycho gets two dates. But I am starting to think it is not fair. Cuz really, my heart is not in it anymore.
I keep getting more contacts from Match and still have a few CL people to meet with. Plus Rocket Scientist and Hot Cop are this week. Both look very promising. But I have to tell you, I am thinking about closing up shop. I am really into Crafty and just am not able to lead a guy on if my heart is not available. I've done that in the past, and it sucks for everyone involved. I want to live my life with more integrity and clarity than that.
I hug Drooppy Dog goodbye and check my phone to see what Crafty has said. I figured it would be something sarcastic or sexy. Instead it was a picture of a rainbow that had come out while I was at lunch. Just that. It was so sweet that my little heart just melted for a second.
So this is really what I have wanted. Someone to pursue me and be as interested in me as I am in them. I felt I was always trying to get some time from Douchebag. Even after ten months, I still only saw him once a week and would MAYBE get a phone call or text from him once a day. And that fat bastard didn't even have a job! Crafty has been working thses crazy 14-16 hour days and still contacts me all the time.
What's even scarier though is the last time I felt this way about a guy who felt this way about me was Uniball. He and I were like a hurricane of sex, love, passion and madness. It was all emcompassing. And it blinded me to faults that were clearly unhealthy for me. Part of me wants to get swept up in that incredible high again. But another part of me is terrified that I will end up with yet another dead end relationship to add to my CV of dating fuck ups.
My friend, A, made me promise him a while back that he would have final approval of the guys I date. I said yes as a joke, but think it would be good to have a fresh pair of eyes on this one. A. is no bullshit and will let me know if he sees any red flags. So I am considering having the two of them meet. But since A. and Crafty are both so busy, it might be a while. Until then, I guess I will continue on my dating quest. I can't give up my heart so easily, like I always seem to do. I must protect myself, right?
|
|
Posted by datingretard on 2008-01-22 19:14:28 | Rating: | Views: 269
|
|
| |
|
|
Email This to a Friend 